


Petty Little Comments

by v_a_l_v_e



Category: Undertale
Genre: 3rd tier curse words, Adult Themes, Dark, Fluff, Heavy Plot, Pacifist Route, Plot Based, Psychological, about introducing monsters to the surface, burgerpants pov, descriptive, full of sarcasm, just a couple of dudes being guys, no ships, not romantic - Freeform, plot and relationship based, post game plot, somewhat mature, sorry no ships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-01-30 06:36:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 34,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21423799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/v_a_l_v_e/pseuds/v_a_l_v_e
Summary: The MTT resort is closing, leaving Burgerpants jobless but with hopes of new opportunities on the surface. Somehow his ex-boss offers him a job and wants him to help bring humans and monsters together. Burgerpants finds out that Mettaton isn't the rude boss he thought he was- and finds the place he hated so much has now become his home. Work associates become friends and family, and for once Burgerpants feels satisfied with the new name he made for himself.
Relationships: Burgerpants/Alphys, Burgerpants/Mettaton, Burgerpants/Napstablook (Undertale), Burgerpants/Nice Cream Vendor (Undertale), Mettaton/Alphys, Mettaton/Napstablook
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	1. Broken Barrier

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written from Burgerpants’s POV and is intended to sound like it’s being spoken, so there’s a lot of breaks and rambling (and sarcasm). If the grammar isn’t correct it might be because I decided to write the character’s dialect that way. Sometimes I get pretty wordy, sorry. This is my first Undertale fanfic so its mainly practice for structured plot and character development.
> 
> BP is probably one of the funnest characters to write.

Wake up. Roll out of bed. Take my uniform out of the dryer. Put it on. Try and clean up. Heat up some water. Pour the water into the cup of dry noodles. Eat the shitty breakfast. Complain, then put on a grand smile in the mirror and off to hell.

You know I had always dreamed of being an actor ever since I was a kitten. My parents thought I would’ve grown out of that dream- heh, guess I’m just a big child with big, pointless dreams. So I loved watching TV. I loved the programs, the wacky commercials for products and all the different shows it broadcasted. I wanted to be on that TV so damn badily. I wanted to prove something to myself; I wanted to know if dreams could really become a reality.

Welp, my dream never became a reality, sorry to cut the story short but that’s life for you. Case closed, it never happened, the fun’s over, why are you even still reading this? I tried my damnedest, and it still didn’t happen. Ya know I even work for at the MTT resort. Yeah, I have to deal with the star daily. Yup, I can get you an autograph, no problem. Ya think I’m gonna enjoy it? Yeah I’m going to absolutely love asking that incredible and glitterfied thot bot for you… not. 

You don’t know hell until you’ve worked at the MTT-Brand Burger Emporium, home of the Glamburger. Sparkle up your day ™. Here at the MTT resort we try our very best to run things like they do on the surface. But ya see, the barrier was destroyed. It’s only been a month but my boss already plans to establish resorts on the surface. He’ll soon find out that humans don’t make their hamburgers out of sequins and glue. I really hope some humans come to the underground to try out Mettaton’s famous resort. I hope they hate this place as much as I do. I hope some snobby rich guy tears Mettaton and this place apart. But I can only hope. After all, who the hell would want to come down here?

I actually grew up in the city. Yeah, I’m an alley cat, I used to be popular with the ladies. That was back when people actually called me by my real name. Now people just call me Burgerpants. I used to care, but now I realize I really am Burgerpants. I’m a depressed sack of shit that lets Mettaton walk all over me with those heels of his. Mettaton has only become worse when Dr. Alphys finished his new body. I honestly thought this job couldn’t get any worse.

Now he struts around, showing off his “grand new style” and bathing in the praises of his fans. And while this happens I get to stay by my goddamn grill, and watch through my shitty glass door. He was already a plastic piece of garbage before- but now- he just covered himself in glitter and gained an incredible amount of arrogance. 

Ugh… you see the problem here? All I think about is this shitty job and my shitty boss. I can’t even enjoy TV anymore; knowing that my TV, my couch, my fucking floor- all of it is MTT brand and provided to me by my boss. So that’s why I thought things would be different when the barrier fell. But so far nothing has changed. I hoped something in me would change, or maybe I’d have the confidence to quit. There are so many opportunities for me on the surface, but humans and us monsters still aren’t used to each other. The King and Queen made contact with the humans just a month ago, and monsters are already pouring into the free world, but- how are we supposed to blend in with these humans, knowing that centuries ago we fought a war that ultimately locked us into the underground? I guess all we can do is get over it.

Anyway, Mettaton left a couple days ago to visit the surface. Yeah- the whole day he bothered me about what he planned to do on his little vacation. Must be nice, taking a little vacation to the surface… He’s supposed to come back tonight, and I’m actually curious to hear what he has to say. We know very little about the humans, but one time Dr. Alphys did play some weird human show in the theatre. I didn’t watch it, cause I was working, but apparently it was very… interesting. It was something about girl astronauts (whatever the hell that is) with powers or something. I wonder what kind of powers humans have…

But since Mettaton’s been gone, work has been nice. I actually get to leave when my shift ends, I usually have to wait for Mettaton to chat with me for a good thirty minutes and then I can leave- after I clean the grill AGAIN because it wasn’t up to “MTT-brand” standards. And what do I do when I get home? I get something in my MTT fridge (which is conveniently shaped like a certain box-shaped robot-) and eat my food while I stare at the TV until I fall asleep in my chair. And then I wake up the next morning and my day repeats. Weekends? What’s that? Here at the MTT resort our employees work all week, with all of the benefits of MTT: anxiety, stress, and GLITTER! Ugh… I need some sleep…

So today is the day Mettaton is coming back. I’m enjoying my last few hours without his presence when the Nice Cream Guy came in. He entered hell with a big, bright bucktooth smile that he used to charm customers. Yeah, he seemed kinda sleezy, but I think he’s actually a good guy. I’m usually weary of attractive people, but this kid seems alright. Also he gives me free ice cream sometimes.  
“Good afternoon Burgy! Still working hard at the grill I see?” I laughed nervously and retained that goddamn smile.  
“Welcome to MTT-Brand Burger Emporium, home of the Glamburger. Sparkle up your day ™. What can I do for you?” I wiggled out the last of the cheery sentence then deflated with a big sigh, “Sorry… regulations, you know how it goes.”

“Well you can get me a piece of your mind for a second. Haha- oh and how about a Glamburger? Gotta love the brand, am I right-“ Was he serious? Never once had he ordered from here.  
And then the blue bunny paused and smiled charmingly, “Aw, I’m sorry. I thought that would’ve made you laugh!” Oh. So he was joking… not a very funny joke mind you. “I know this job is stressful enough as it is. The last thing you want is having to grill a burger for a friend.”

“Yeah, yeah, you got me… so waddaya want, I’m workin’ you know. Do you have another joke for me?” I automatically started to wipe down the counter, knowing the camera above my station would catch my every movement. Mettaton had snapped at me in his office once for apparently “not really doing my job.” So now I have to clean what’s already clean whenever I’m not grilling. 

The bunny’s ears perked and he smiled again, “Yup. I think this once is real sweet- it says: Once upon a dream, You had a Nice Cream, It tasted so great, You knew it had to be fate!” The first part was better. Sure, it was cute, but I don’t think poems are his thing. He should just stick to compliments. 

“Yeah, that sounds great.” My ears twitched. I never liked lying to him, but they actually weren’t bad. I wouldn’t be offended if my Nice Cream had a stupid poem on it. 

“Really? Awesome, I’m glad you like it… how about if you visit my stand after work I’ll let you try a new flavor. It’s on the house, so don’t worry about it!” Heh, it’s not like this is the first time he’s given me free nice cream.

“Sure, I’ll drop by…” I paused awkwardly, glancing behind the bunny and hoping no customers were coming my way, “Geez… I could really use a smoke, you know?”

“Yeah, I’m sure this job is a hassle. Working for MTT, that would take some courage~ I don’t think I’d be able to work a grill while a star watches my every movement.” Finally, a chance to vent.

“Yeah, it can be a real shit-“ Holy fucking shit, how could I forget? The cameras. The goddamn CAMERAS! There’s a big ol’ camera just above my head, and I know it sure as hell can pick up voices. Mettaton specifically asked Dr. Alphys for some of her best cameras so he could make sure the resort’s environment was “MTT-proof.” Whatever the hell that means… Well, for me, that means I can’t talk shit about my boss when I’m on the job. Every little word I say could be investigated by the likes of him. I don’t know if he watches my footage every night, but every time I whip out a cigarette he’s playing that shitty CD album about second-hand smoke on the intercom. Oh yeah, if you didn’t know, he created a playlist specifically for me. It’s about how I suck at my job. Yeah, me and my boss are great pals.  
So anyway, I cleared my throat and said through gritted teeth, “Well, actually, my boss is a very busy man. He does his very best here at the MTT resort. It’s a pleasure to work for him, after all, so please don’t judge my boss too harshly.” 

The bunny smiled sadly. He could read me way too well, “Yeah, you’re right. I should go back to my stand, there’s still late nighters that want a taste of the new flavor! Next time- I promise I’ll actually buy something. I know you’re not supposed to talk to people unless they buy something… Anyway, see you around Burgy!” I like him. He can be a little bothersome- but I like him. 

The blue bunny went back to work and I remained at my grill. No one came through the door and I desperately wanted to take a smoke break. The resort seemed pretty empty tonight. Well- it usually wasn’t very busy because after all, why the hell would you want to be here? But tonight- it was just empty. Everyone went up to the surface to meet the humans. I would’ve done the same but according to Mettaton “we can’t afford losing a single customer! And what if a human wants to try some of our monster hospitality? Oh please Burgerpants, I need you to hold down the fort while I’m gone! You are the employee of the month after all!” Ugh… I’m always the employee of the month. That hand receptionist was always the employee of the month before me. She was probably Mettaton’s pet before I had to stumble along…

Click. Click. Click. Click.

The sound of heels tapping against the marble floor. Ahh… my two days of bliss have ended. I perked my ears up and donned that sweet smile that Mettaton always asked for. Sure enough his figure appeared outside my glass door. He entered with a bang- with a smack of pink glitter and a grand smile. “Burgerpants~ Oh darling, I’ve just arrived home from the surface! What wonderful things are there!” 

He had dressed especially nice for the occasion. He was wore a different version of his famously pristine suit, but… something seemed a little off about him. Maybe it was the way he moved, but he seemed a little tired. Heh, was the sunlight too much for this star? Maybe he just wasn’t used to such a big spotlight… 

“Good afternoon sir. Welcome you back to the MTT resort. I’m proud to announce that everything is safe and accounted for…”

“Oh that’s just wonderful darling…” He pulled over a stool and leaned his arm on my counter with a robotic sigh, “…”

He was quiet… how pleasantly unusual. So what’d he see on the surface? Was it not what he expected it to be? I hesitated, but decided to ask, “So, boss, what’d you think of the surface?” I did want to know what was up there after all…

He raised his head and his eye lit up, “Burgerpants- it’s just amazing!!” Oh no. “I didn’t know what grace the sun carried… The morning sun lit up the trees- oh the trees! There was so many, and so colorful too! There are so many humans up there too! All these humans, all of them were so unique and different and really tiny and my goodness the things they had! You would not believe the transportation they use! Their cars were so strange looking, they looked like little beetles. And there were flying beetles in the sky- ugh what were they called- planes! They fly around in the sky and left fluffy trails behind them. And the sky- it was a bright, beautiful, incredible-“ I hated the sound of his voice, but I was hanging on to his every word. I leaned over the counter too, holding onto the anticipation.

He suddenly grabbed my paws and squeezed them hard with his metal hands. My claws reflexively came out for a moment, but he didn’t care this time. “Burgerpants!! The surface is just perfect for me. The humans are going to love me up there. I am their second biggest fan after all~” He winked. I wanted to puke- but wait, when has Mettaton been the second in anything? He seemed to read my mind as he continued, “I let Alphys be their biggest fan. She did introduce me to anime~ Oh humanity is going to love us…” He finally let go of my paws. My smile twitched and he pulled away calmly. His eyelid fluttered sweetly and he turned his head, “Oh, I bet you want to hear all about the surface, don’t you? … I’m sorry darling, I’m actually running low on battery right now. I haven’t had a decent charge in awhile. I promise I’ll tell you everything~” He slinked off the stool, “Toddles~” 

And then he was gone. I looked down at the time, it was ten minutes after my shift ended… but he didn’t say I could go. I hissed under my breath. Well… Of course I was going to leave! But I still didn’t like leaving without his permission. Ugh, what a day… I’m just elated to know Mettaton’s going to be talking my ear off. 


	2. New Folks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing a new character and a little thing Mettaton's been keeping from Burgerpants.

Yeah, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. A car in the sky? Flying? We already knew so little about cars, but occasionally a wheel or tire found its way down to Waterfall. Ya know a lot of people dig around in the dumps down there, looking for goodies. Sometimes they score big, but mostly it’s just plastic bottles and wet cardboard. I was never one of those people, I dunno, I just didn’t find it very appealing. I want to know about the surface, but not enough to dig through their garbage.

Anyway I’m kind of an asshole. I was thinking so much about what Mettaton said that I totally forgot to talk to the blue bunny after work. He’s a nice guy, so I bet he won’t mind, but that’s the thing- he’s a nice guy. A nice guy like him shouldn’t have to deal with my shitty mistakes. Meh, I’ll just see tonight then. It’s not a big deal, not a big deal…

So in the morning it was back to the daily grind. On with my uniform and out the door- time to burn my very essence into that glittery grill. I arrived to my station, ten minutes early of course, only to find my boss standing behind the counter. His faced brightened upon seeing my wretched entrance and gracefully jutted out his hip, “Welcome to MTT-Brand Burger Emporium, home of the Glamburger! Here we sparkle your day up™! How may I help you, O customer?” I just stared. What did he want me to say? He literally messed up the first thing I was supposed to memorize when I started here.

He kept that grand smile and waited, “… Burgerpants~ Please play along~”

I wasn’t sure if this was a test or if he was just poking fun at me. Or both. You never know with this guy, “Um, I should probably get ready for work boss.”

He gave in. “No fun, Burgerpants, no fun. This is why you’re working for me and not vice versa~” He majestically slipped over the top of the counter and hopped back down onto the floor. You know… because it wasn’t like there was literally a space to walk out like right next to him. I’ll have to remember to clean the counter with bleach, but leave a little for myself just in case.

“Tsk, tsk tsk~” He let out a shuttering laugh, “So are you going to correct me or just stand there and take it?” Because I never know what it is with you, asshole. If I corrected you I might get snapped at and you might play one of your stupid fucking songs. The best thing I can do is smile and play it dumb.

“Erm, well sir, coming from you I just assumed you were right. It would’ve been embarrassing if I tried to correct you and it turned out I had been saying the motto wrong this whole time…”

“Hm, you’re right, that would’ve been really embarrassing. Oh but you’re too gullible darling~ Don’t be afraid to speak your mind a bit more, who knows, you might save me from doing something stupid one day!” He suddenly exploded into laughter, finding that to be a hilarious joke. I chuckled meekly. Yeah, very funny Mettaton…

As the star was entertaining himself with my misfortune, a customer came through the door. “Welcome to MTT-Brand Burger Emporium, home of the Glamburger. Sparkle up your day ™. What can I do for you, O customer?” The monster was a timid thing, slinking it’s molasses-like body around and up onto the stool. It didn’t take notice to Mettaton’s massive presence. Well… it was just a mass of- whatever the hell it was- it didn’t look like it even had eyes. Or a mouth… Wait does it eat?

The creature’s voice seemed to splat into the room, “Oh, I dunno, something warm.” Glamburger it is then.

Mettaton leaned against my counter, watching the creature curiously. Most monsters would jump at an opportunity to speak to the famous star, but this one didn’t even see him. He must’ve been getting annoyed. Or confused- because his face scrounged up and he asked, “So darling, are you not from around here?”

The monster’s mass suddenly shivered like if I threw a rock into the water, “O-O-Oh- Mettaton’s right there I didn’t even notice-“

I snickered, “So tell me buddy, how did you not see the star of the underground standing right next to you?” The monster only vibrated more. Mettaton’s rolled his eyes over to me, suddenly seeming stern. Uh- maybe I should’ve just kept my mouth shut…

“You see this is why you’re working back here and not at the front desk. It’s your petty little comments and that rude attitude of yours. Not to mention you reek of smoke. Don’t you know smoking is bad for you? Honestly, I have no idea why you do it, it’s unbelievable.” That was uncalled for. Ya know I’m not even really pissed off about it, just don’t understand why he decided to personally attack me. I was just teasing ‘em… as for the smoking. He knows damn well why I smoke. It takes the edge off a little, it actually lets me breathe for a second. All the chaos of the world just seems to spin a little slower. It gives me enough life to continue to the end of my shift. 

“Tch-“ He just had to continue, “Not even an apology in front of our glamorous guest?”

“Ah- yes, I’m sorry sir-“ I turned to the blob monster, “I’m truly sorry sir, I should’ve been far more considerate…” 

“…”

Mettaton still wasn’t pleased. I quickly continued- “And of course your purchase is on me today.”

Mettaton forced out a grand smile, “Oh thank you Burgerpants, you are just the sweetest~” I quickly made the monster a Glamburger then sent them on their way. Mettaton waved them a little goodbye, then turned to me- my tail stiffened and my ears automatically went down. It wasn’t even that big of a mistake, if anything it was just awkward for me! Oh please don’t Mettaton, whatever you’re going to do, please don’t… 

He turned to me and smiled, “See? You can actually be a good kitty when you actually try~” He seemed to find that funny too, “You were this close from hearing my new album!”

“…” I knew the answer, but I had to ask, “So- what’s the album?”

“Oh I’m so glad you asked! It’s featuring how you’re such a rude monster!” His tubular arm slinked around my shoulders, “It’s a sequel to Burgerpants Sucks at his Job. You just loved that one, didn’t you? I’m thinking about making them a matched set! Buy one, get the other free kind of packaged deal!” Wait was he selling them-

“Um…” A sudden chill filled the room. The vents seemed to go quiet and an oddly comforting quietness surrounded us. I looked over and saw the shrewd outline of a distracted ghost. They phased through the glass doors and remained floating beside us, as if patiently waiting for our shitty conversation to stop. They were a lot different than the other monsters. Calm and rather quiet, and just by their troubled expression I could tell they were stressed. Well shit it was then that I put two and two together- they must be one of the monsters Mettaton just hired.

He told me a couple nights ago that he had hired some new folks because of their “spectacular” talent. That sounded like bullshit, but whatever boss. Whatever makes him shut up I guess. I knew my boss wasn’t one to praise others for their talent- or at least sincerely mean it. He must have some other motive.

Only then did Mettaton pull away from me and turn to the ghost and with a patient smile he asked, “What is it Napstablook?”

The monster had a very quiet voice, but a pleasing one to listen to, “um… having trouble getting into your office.” Napstablook suddenly seemed to notice my existence and quickly continued, as if feeling like they had to explain themself to me, “to… put the boxes in… that have my stuff in them… because I’m moving to the surface… and Mettaton said I could… oh no, I’m talking too much again, I’m sorry...” They literally had said barely anything but okay kiddo. So Mettaton and his new gang are moving up to the surface? I’m not sure how the humans will handle that, but at least I won’t see my boss as much.

Mettaton just kept that sweet little smile, “Oh I’m sorry, is my office locked?” The ghost timidly agreed with silence. Napstablook seemed nice enough; they were defiantly a break from all the glitter and glam. Mettaton continued, “How about I just finish taking your stuff in? You deserve a little break and… I’m sure you’re dying to get a tour of the MTT resort~” Was that a pun.

I turned to the grill for a moment, assuming our pointless conversation was over but he robotically coughed and snapped, “Burgerpants.”

“Uh- yeah boss?”

He gave me one of those smiles that would make his fans melt, but I just stood there, staring, and really wanting him to leave so I can continue working in this hell. “Could you pretty please give Napstablook here a tour?”

“Of course sir-“

“Right now, Burgerpants.” He knew I was working the emporium right now, why couldn’t he- “I’m a very busy many, Burgerpants, you know this. Just do what I tell you to and get it done. Make it happen.” Napstablook didn’t even seem to notice Mettaton’s sternness, or at least they were naïve enough not to care. Half of what Mettaton said didn’t even make sense, but all he could say was “make it happen?” I can’t grill and give a tour at the same time, asshole. I can’t use magic unlike some of you bastards.

Mettaton left suddenly in a hurry and I noticed that Napstablook had a little smile on their ghostly face. This kid had no idea what kind of hell he was in for. I turned to the ghost, “So you’re working here now, eh? How’d my boss get you wrapped into this mess?”

The ghost blinked, “… oh… he just appeared at my house in Waterfall. I thought he was a customer but he offered me a job… as a DJ.”

“Huh, you make music? How?” I really had to know. They had, like, nubs for hands. Not even fingers! The ghost just smiled and didn’t answer. I don’t think I was going to get an answer out of them. “What’d you do before this then? Did you sell music?”

“not really I just made music for fun… I worked at our family snail farm.” I remember hearing about a snail farm from some customer weeks ago. Its probably the same one. Napstablook continued again, “… do you think the humans like snail races? Mettaton said they did…”

Defiantly not. What’s so fun about watching some animal run around a track anyway? There’s no way humans would pay money to see that. “Probably. If I were you, kid, I’d drop this job with uh- my boss- and do whatever it is you do on the surface. You gotta follow your dreams, ya know?”

Napstablook’s little mouth opened, but their expression didn’t change, “I guess… but it sure would be nice to work with Mettaton… I can’t believe he would want anything to do with a ghost like me.”  
So this kid seriously thought the microwave was believable. Tch- just another innocent person falling for a beautiful person’s tricks. “So do you watch MTT TV a lot? There’s a bunch of different shows, wacky ones, stupid ones…” I glanced up at the TV mounted to the wall. Sometimes Mettaton would play reruns or horrible music videos while I had to listen to them all day long. 

The monster timidly replied softly, “Oh you know… I try to catch the quiz show everyday… and every morning I watch the daily report… and… I really enjoy Cooking with a Killer Robot. Very soothing… but sometimes I miss it if we have a late night customer…”

“So you’re a fan? Oh great… This must be dream come true for you then.”

“… well… I guess.” The ghost looked over at my grill blankly, “… but Cooking with a Killer Robot isn’t going to play anymore. I guess I’ll have to stick to reruns.”

“It isn’t?” That’s one of his hottest shows. There’s no way Mettaton would cut it off. “What do you mean, kid?”

“We’re going to be shooting new stuff on the surface; because, you know… the resort is being closed down.”

“What?

“O-Oh… Oh no… I shouldn’t have said that.”

The resort is shutting down? Well, what the hell does that mean for me? I could finally not have to depend on this job, hell, this could give me the chance to finally go up to the surface. I’m not as bizarre as some monsters, I’m sure I’d be fine… but also who knows what’ll happen up there? They might even be wackier than us- well they did lock the monster race underground, that’s just a tad weird- but are we really going to be able to blend in with them? Are they even going to accept us in my lifetime? A dark realization settled in me. The shutting down of this resort could possibly be the worst thing for me. I’m losing the job I’ve always despised, and I hate that I’m so dependent on it. The pay is shit and I’m treated by garbage, but this is the closest I’ve ever been to my goal. This is the closest I’ve ever been in the show business, only for that metal asshole to drop kick me into a trash can so he can grow his business even farther on the surface.

I bet you think I’m jealous. No, I- well maybe I am but- I could do a lot better. No idols and glitter, just entertainment and talent. The type of fame and recognization that’s actually deserved; honorable and decent. It’d just be something to make ya laugh or smile, anything to bring life to the face of an audience. 

“O-O-Ohh… I should go…” The ghost was still floating aimlessly, regretting what they had just revealed.

“Relax, relax,” I gave a big sigh, “He was gonna tell us anyway, kid. I guess you just let me know a little early.”

“B-But he might be angry with me… oh no… first day on the job, and I’m already screwing up… sigh…” They said sigh out loud…

“Nah, he’ll be easy on you. I can just tell he likes you.” Who knows. Yeah on my first day on the job he was all smiles (or all pixels at the time) until I screwed up the first customer’s order… I was nervous, alright!? My favorite star was literally my new boss, my paws were shaking like crazy… 

Napstablook finally relaxed, so I decided to put my spatula down and take them on a little tour. Despite what my boss said, I knew I had to make it quick so I could go right back to serving so I could keep the money flowing in. Me and Nasptablook didn’t talk much, they were pretty quiet and polite. They’re a nice kid… but if they’re a ghost, wouldn’t they probably be older than me? Shit…


	3. His Office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Burgerpants finds Mettaton in need of help and meets Alphys, who reveals a bit about the robot's past and the surface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Srry long chapter and plot heavy

So it’s nearly closing time. The day went by fast, the customers were slow, but my mind was running a million miles a minute. They were so many opportunities out there for me, why am I still here? Why am I moping about losing my job? Maybe I hoped Mettaton would’ve turned around and handed his business to me, and give me all the fame and love he’s made for himself. Maybe I hoped the underground would’ve been enough for him… well, if he’s not going to be my boss anymore, what’s the point in holding back? Huh, I kind of like the thought of that… I wonder if that blue bunny would be up for messing with the metal man, like a farewell present.

As I waited at my station, I watched the minute hand fall over the four. My shift ended twenty minutes ago. Where was that metal bastard? I decided to give it another five, it was best not to test his patience. But those five minutes became ten and sure enough I was half an hour in. I growled quietly and my tail twitched. Come on, at least have the decency to release your employees. 

I got fed up and went to his office. It was down the hall, and was literally the only door in this hallway. He had the arrogance to have a hall dedicated to him. I knocked on his door. No response. Maybe he was out?

I went back down the hall to the hand receptionist. The chunky fingers on the top of her head slowly clunked down onto the table, her inch-thick fingernails clacking loudly against the marble top. She seemed to be just as tired and impatient as I was. “What are you looking at me for? Kitty, I want to go home as much as you do.”

“Do you know where he’s at? We could probably just leave a note for him when he returns… At least that way we can say we warned him.” 

“Um, do I look like his secutary?”

“Okay great. A polite no would’ve been fine but sure your arrogant sass is welcomed too. You know-“

“Oh enough, cool your jets kitty, I’m just jesting with you. He returned from the surface just after dinner-hour. He should still be in his office, unless he slipped passed me somehow…” I begrudgingly thanked her and moseyed my way back to his office door. I knocked again. No response. “Boss?” Knock knock. I suddenly felt like tearing the door up, I’m really too tired to hunt for his robotic ass. So he probably wasn’t in there, the lady didn’t notice him leave. But uh… what if? What if he was just sitting in his office and ignoring the knocks just because? Surely he wasn’t that much of an asshole… but… ya know, what if?

I glanced up and around the hall, surprised to find no cameras. I guess he really only used cameras for spying on his employees… I squeezed my hand roughly and allowed a claw to draw itself out. I inserted my claw into the lock and fiddled quietly, keeping an eye on that hand lady, but she was intertwined with her phone. Thank god for lousy employees. 

The door popped open. I slithered into the room like the sleezy thing I am… or like to think I am. Long story short- Mettaton wasn’t there. Thank god. His office was exactly like you’d expect: pink, glitter, and lots of pictures of himself. He even had some trophies atop his bookshelf; all awarded to him by him. Best game show host, most viewed news channel, most handsome robot, I really don’t want to keep reading them… On his desk was an elegant lamp with a little Toriel plushie leaned up against it… well when I stepped closer I saw that it was one of those plushies. I also noticed his computer was still open to a bizarre website. The internet in the underground was terrible, as far as I know we only use it to send emails. 

Well… I consider myself to be a pretty respectable guy, ya know? But… at this moment I was really curious. He was going to fire me anyway, why not make it worth my while? Surely snooping a little wouldn’t be such a big deal. I went around the desk and went to pull out the chair, but hit my foot on somewhat hard. Looking down, expecting to see the table leg, but actually setting my eyes on a… hand?

A large, gloved hand was at my feet. I followed it up it’s metallic arm and to the face. It’s was Mettaton, oh so conveniently hidden behind his desk. But this time he wasn’t smiling or barking at me endlessly. His eye was stark and his limbs laid stiff beside his twisted body. The essence of his soul was grey, nearly translucent in his stomach. The star’s liveliness was no more, rather he was an object, just a humanoid figure composed of metal slabs and copper wires. He really was just a robot… was he even a “monster”? He was created by Alphys, so he was simply a monster’s creation. But then again, Alphys did have to use a monster’s soul to create him. Does that technically make him a monster? I guess. Anyway, he’s not dust.

So if he’s out of power, what does that mean for me? Well it means nothing- I turned toward the door, looked up- and saw a little black camera looking down at me from the corner of the ceiling. The red dot on it was defiantly on, so I was defiantly being recorded. Those goddamn cameras. I could’ve just gone home claim we assumed he was out. Someone else could’ve come along and found him instead. It would’ve been a simple night- but no, he just had to have a camera in his own office- but not in the hallway, because you know, THAT MAKES SENSE.

The fur on the back of my neck bristled and I snapped my gaze back to the robot’s direction. Now I felt compelled to do something. I didn’t want to give him a valid reason for firing me, he had to know I wasn’t that kind of guy… why do I have the need to prove myself to this guy? Hell I don’t know… maybe a bit of me still remembers when I’d watch his shows with my family. Back then he was still a box and the shows as stupid as ever- but it was something nice to play in the background. Sometimes my home got too quiet in the city, and when my sister wasn’t around I’d turn the volume up real loud. He had a nice energy, even if it was overbearing sometimes.

And even though I hated his soul- that was enough for me to want to help him, just this once. And so I went over and grabbed him by the stupid heels- and pulled with every fiber of my body. He didn’t even budge. Dread came over me. Holy shit he’s like a thousand pounds. I gotta remember that he’s literally metal, oh and also he’s gigantic! I reconsidered my decision. This was gonna be a lot of work, was it really worth it?

I dropped his leg- BANG- I flinched and my ears cowered momentarily. Please don’t leave a dent… I went outside his office and called over the hand lady. It would take a couple of brains to move this bastard… But before we did anything else I called the royal scientist. I had never met her before- but if anyone knew what to do, it’d be her. I wish we could’ve just plugged him into a wall socket somehow… After a few rings she finally picked up.

“U-Um- h-hello?” Her voice was muffled and wavered against the phone. Heh, I thought the royal scientist would’ve seem more, I dunno- professional?

“Hey, I’m at the MTT resort and I’ve got a problem here. Your robot here is out cold on the floor. What do I do with him?”

“M-Mettaton!?” The quiet voice gasped and it sounded like she scurried around endlessly, “O-Oh- excuse m-me, but who i-is this?”

“Um… Burgerpants. I work for Mettaton… so does he like have a button or something-“  
“W-Well, um, you can take him back here- t-to my lab I mean. I’ll have to put him on the charging station for awhile- um, when d-did he run out of power? A-Are you sure there isn’t anything else wrong?”

Weird questions, but okay… “No, I didn’t see any damage on him. It just looked like he fell out of his chair, I just assumed he was out of battery… is there something I should be concerned about?” I asked, purely for selfish reasons…

“N-No, no! I-It’s fine… I think… he usually doesn’t r-run out of batteries so quickly… w-well I suppose he was very busy today. Running about with all those humans, he was talking endlessly, and that sun, I’m sure of it… I need to study it’s rays, maybe it- O-Oh, I-I’m rambling, I’m sorry… J-Just drop him off at my l-lab.. o-okay? He’ll be fine.” I ended the call… what a strange lady.

We managed to find a cart in the back of the stage- it was used as a prop in the plays. We heaved his body onto it (after a couple of pathetic attempts). But the hand lady claimed she had to get home to her kids. I honestly needed the help, but, I’ll make it there eventually on my own… “Thanks lady… hey, um, you have a name?” 

Her palm-like stretched out, maybe in surprise, “Oh everyone just calls me Handy. And you’re Burgerpants, yes? A strange name that one is…”

“Heh, it’s not my real name either… I guess we’re all different people when we’re here.” There was a sad truth to it. I doubt Mettaton even knew anyone’s names. It wouldn’t be long until that ghost gets a nickname too. 

“Yes, that’s something to think about.” We split ways. I started to pull the cart outside of the resort, surprised to find that the Nice Cream stand was gone. I glanced at my clock- well shit it was in the middle of the night- or what we considered to be night at least. It never got dark in Hotland, but there was a time when all the shops closed so the workers and customers could sleep. Anyway I should’ve been home three hours ago. That blue bunny is probably fast asleep in his rabbit hole- or wherever he sleeps.

… I started to think about what I had said about our new “nicknames” that Mettaton gave us. Everyone calls me Burgerpants now, and I’m actually okay with. At first I was ticked off by the petty name, and honestly really embarrassed- but now it just makes sense. I’m not that monster anymore. When I left the city I came to be an actor. I knew my only chance was with Mettaton, but right now my best role was playing as a bush… I had to sacrifice the little things I had for this shitty job, but it was never worth it… and now I’ll be fired, and loose what I never wanted. Well, there is always the surface… Everything will be different up there- and very difficult… It’s another chance. But until I get out of this hellhole, I’ll always be Burgerpants. 

It took HOURS, but I finally made it to her lab. The lab was very boring- a large white cube with ‘LAB’ written in red, blocky letters. I knocked on the big white door. I waited for a second, then impatiently knocked again. Now was really not the time…

However the door slid open and there still a small yellow monster. She was short and lizard-like, with a round body and a tail that curled around her feet. Her lab coat was large and dragged against the floor, and she also wore glasses that were much too big for her face. Her nervous smile and dark eyes were oddly comforting. It was nice to know not everyone was as confident as Mettaton.

“O-Oh come in!” The inside of the lab was high and large, but felt empty even though her things littered the place. It didn’t even feel like a lab, more like her weird home that reminded me of a hospital…   
We pushed him into the back and I helped her set up whatever weird machine she had… It was large box against the lab wall with thick tubes on the sides. Dr. Alphys plugged one of such tubes into Mettaton’s back. The box made a low growl which eventually blubbered out into a soft hum. She then fiddled with his back for a moment, then with a little huff she turned to me, “… t-thank you…”

“It’s not like I had a choice. When I found ‘em like this, I was planning on just leaving- but I saw I was being watched by a camera… you don’t have any cameras in here, do you?” I huffed, still watching the silent robot.

“W-Well…” She twiddled her fingers, “Y-Yes, I do-“ She put her little hands up, “B-But nothing Mettaton would see! … even if you didn’t do this out of the k-kindness of your heart, I-I’m sure he’ll be v-very thankful! I-I bet he’ll even give you a promotion!”

“Tch- that’s cute. I know he’s moving his business to the surface; he’s gonna fire me and everyone else that works at the resort. What a promotion that’ll be.”

The lizard’s face became dusted red, “O-Oh…” She looked towards the ground and her shoulders tensed up, “I-I’m sorry… I- shouldn’t have said that.”

I felt a little bad, “… Don’t sweat it, Doctor. I hate the guy anyway. It’s a relief to finally be rid of him… I gotta watch my mouth around this guy, otherwise he’ll- … just do embarrassing stuff.”

“Y-Yes, I know…” She responded quietly, “Sometimes he talks about you…” She laughed nervously as my face twisted. Oh great, I can’t wait to hear the shit he says behind my back. She quickly continued, “It’s n-not all bad… He’s… honestly a t-terrible boss, but he’s o-one of my closest friends. When I first m-met him it took me awhile to get used to his… energy.” 

My ear twitched and I rolled my eyes down to the small monster. She “met” him? Something was off. “Doctor, I thought you created Mettaton.”

She let out a little squeak, her glasses nearly falling off her face, “I-I did create him! B-But it’s… h-his soul… he had a soul before- um… o-oh goodness me-“ She took a cloth out from her coat pocket and anxiously wiped her face, “um- would you like something to drink? I-If you’d… l-like an explanation.” To be honest this was none of my business. I’d probably never see Mettaton again when I’d get to the surface, but the little kid inside of me wanted to know. Maybe there was a little part of me that wished he wasn’t what he seemed on the surface. Sure he played the part as an energetic host that adores his fans, but he’s actually an arrogant asshole- I wish his persona had been true. What would he be without all the fame and love? Is he just another beautiful person corrupted by the morals of power?  



	4. Prepare to be Wooed!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Burgerpants meets up with Mettaton after the incident, only to be showered in embarrassment and praise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of shippy chapter- eh, but it's meant to be a joke

Alphys had told me briefly of her new boss over a cup of tea. Now I don’t really like tea, I’m more of a coffee guy myself, but I kinda wanted to be polite. She had poured me a cup and only afterwards stuttered out an apology for not asking beforehand. I didn’t care- as long I got something hot to drink. It was already late, and maybe I would get the day off tomorrow… hell, why should I even consider going back to work? I’m going to get fired anyway.

“S-So yeah I’ve known Mettaton for awhile. We were friends even before he was a star. Um… I-I built him a body for him, and his career started off from there. It’s j-just that simple…” The yellow lizard dunked the tea bag again before tossing it carelessly into the trash can. She cupped her thick fingers around the cup and sipped timidly.

“Talk about being brief… So this is a sensitive topic, yeah? Considering you lied to the King and all that…”

Her little eyebrows furrowed and she carefully adjusted her glasses, “… L-Lied? I… I-Is it really that obvious?”

“No, I’m just a sharp cookie,” I chuckled, her expression was kind of cute, “Everyone was amazed with your newest invention: a robot with a monster’s soul. No wonder King Asgore made you the royal scientist… but Dr. Alphys, you make it sound like you didn’t actually create him, but ‘made him’ a body?”

“Y-Yes, that’s right… and p-please, Alphys is just fine. I’m not one for all those f-formalities.” She wrung her hands nervously, “U-Um… I know you’re curious, but it f-feels wrong to disclose such information without Mettaton’s consent… not everyone has to reveal t-their secrets r-right?” Yeah… I guess she’s right. “… W-Well, um… w-what are you going to do on the s-surface- s-since Mettaton is closing the r-resort and all that…”

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. I have no idea what the surface is like, hell, I might even hate it up there… “I would like to see the surface, but who knows how humans will react to us. Who knows how we’ll react to them.”

Alphys swallowed nervously, “I-I’ve only been up to the surface twice… b-but I can already tell it’s a completely different universe up there.” I waited for her to continue. “The humans look very similar, just little differences in color and height, and the little things… but us monsters, nearly all of us are unique in shape and quality. We’ve learned to accept each other because we’ll all different- but with the humans…” Her passionate speech died down a little, “I went with Asgore and Frisk to one of their meetings with the humans. A bunch of their leaders were there… A-And I could just tell they were freaked out. Scared, nervous- I-I’m not sure… b-but they weren’t welcoming us with open arms. The setting was very professional, b-but what about the average civilians? Will they ever accept being neighbors with a monstrosity?” I had the feeling there was something Alphys wasn’t telling me. I could only imagine the things they said to her. “B-But surely not all humans are like that… I-It’ll just take time to get used to each other. O-Oh, what would we have done without Frisk? They seemed to be the only person keeping that meeting together- a-and they’re just a child. I understand the humans are scared of us- a-afterall they can’t use magic.” She pushed up her glasses suddenly, “I-In fact humans don’t even believe magic exists! I had a heated argument with one of their scientists- a-and my goodness the nerve of that guy-“ She sighed, “Humans excel at technology and exploring, but they still have a lot to learn from us monsters…” She finally seemed to look back at me, “U-Um- well, I’m sure humans aren’t scared of all of us. They weren’t really bothered by me- and they probably wouldn’t bother you because you’re so humanoid.” 

“Are you kidding me I’m covered in fur from head to toe. They’d probably only be comfortable with Mettaton- cause didn’t you built him to look like a human?”

She laughed nervously, “U-Uh… t-the thing is, I-I’m the most worried about him… He’s already so flashy and strange in the underground, it’s gonna hurt when he realizes humans are a lot different than he thought… I-It sure hurt me…” She sighed and stirred her tea mindlessly, “You know how he can be… always ecstatic and passionate, he forgets about boundaries so easily. They demanded us monsters should always be accompanied with a human at all times… w-well that was after Mettaton told them he was originally built to be a human eradication robot…” 

I snickered a little bit, “I’m sorry, but he literally screwed up already? Holy shit I bet they’re terrified of him!” I gotta admit, that made me a little happy. The dumbass told them he was specifically built to kill their kind. I love that guy.

Alphys didn’t find it so funny, “I-I’m worried he’s going to fail up there on the surface. I-I’m worried he’s going to get i-in trouble…”

“Oh yeah little Frisky better keep their mouth shut about what happened down here. Didn’t he try to kill them-“

“W-Well I think a lot of us tried to harm Frisk… for different reasons… But now that the barrier is open, a-and we’ve all made up- we don’t have to worry about that anymore.” She let out a big sigh. I finished up the last of my tea and carefully set the cup down on her table.

“Thanks for updating me on all this crap. You really didn’t have to- not that a lot of it was any of my business. I’m tired as hell though, I gotta head back.”

As I stood up the little monster nervously said, “W-Wait, m-may I say one last thing?” Sure why not. She nervously pressed her fingers together, “I-I’m glad I got to talk to you… We don’t know each other very well, but I made assumptions simply from what Mettaton told me… y-you’re a lot sharper than I thought you were. I-I know you don’t like Mettaton, but he h-honestly has good intentions. I-I just thought that- maybe you two are more similar than you think… A-And I think that you’re destined for great things, despite w-what Mettaton says… I-I’m sorry, that was really cheesy…”

“No, it’s okay. I appreciate it.” I managed to twitch a little smile for her. A real smile. I then went on home, taking the path through Hotland right back to the hotel. I’m not sure why, but I slept peacefully that night.

I was rudely awoken by my phone letting out a deep rumble as it rang. Shit was I late for work? My ears perked and I flopped onto my side to see the clock- nope, I didn’t have to leave for another half hour. I wiggled around and grabbed my phone and answered it, “Um… hello?”

“Good morning darling!! Just by the way you’re talking I can tell you’re one sleepy kitty right about now!” Well he certainly wasn’t out of battery anymore.

“Good morning sir…”

“Well obviously you’re not coming into work today. How about instead you drop by Alphys’s lab, hm? I’ve got quite a bit to talk to you about.” In the background I heard the yellow lizard protest quietly, which was erupted by Mettaton’s obnoxious laughter, “-okay sweetheart, see you in a bit! Ba-bye!”

I wonder what he’ll have to say about last night… Did he already watch the camera footage? Alphys probably told him everything- fantastic… I wonder what my fabulous prize will be this time. Maybe one of those Toriel dolls? Nah, I already got a little keychain of one. Maybe he’ll fire me as a gift? Wow that might actually be funny. Even if he doesn’t fire me today, I’m still gonna confront him about it… if anything I’ll quit. 

Knowing that I might never be at that grill again made me feel strange. Of course I hated the place- but that was my station. I knew I would be going there every day and it was dependable. But now I didn’t even know if I’d be able to survive on the surface. I felt a tight knot form in my stomach- maybe I didn’t want to quit just yet.

I arrived at Alphys’s lab and knocked on the door. It automatically opened and I heard murmuring inside. I wearily stepped in, peeking around the corner, “Where are you guys at…?” How responsible of them to not show me in. It’s not like I’ve only been to this place once. As I stepped closer to the voices I heard a sudden nasally laugh, then a dramatic robotic sigh from yours truly. They were having fun.

In the back of the lab Alphys and Mettaton were playing some obscure (MTT brand) board game. I expected to see Mettaton’s slender legs propped up on the couch, but instead he was in his rectangular form, surrounded and nearly buried in pillows. Alphys sat comfortably on the floor, “O-Oh I’m sorry Burgerpants- I-I should’ve shown you i-in.”

“Yeah but it’s fine. I found my way, didn’t I?”

“Oh yes you did Burgerpants darling!” Mettaton’s screen flashed a red heart. Please don’t do that. “My goodness, I don’t even know where to begin… I’m embarrassed, excited, and flattered all at the same time! You know darling, I thought you just tolerated me because I’m your boss… but now I’m sure. I know you actually like me for who I am, and I’m glad to have such a good friend.” The heart fluttered on the screen.

When I hesitated in pure horror he simply patted his large hand on the table, “Grab a pillow! Take a seat!” As I did so Alphys smiled at me timidly, but stood back up, “I’ll let you two be alone.” Oh shit- don’t leave me alone with him.

As she left Mettaton leapt (or his best attempt at least) and grabbed me by my paws and squeezed the hardest he ever has. I had to bite my tongue to stop my claws from popping out. While he crushed my paws with his passion he sweetly continued in that robotic tone, “Who would’ve known that all of these plays that I’ve starred in- my hero was standing at the grill all along?” Why do I feel sick to my stomach? “Oh darling, don’t you have anything to say?”

“E-Eeeeughh-“ I visibly glowered and retracted my paws from his iron grip. I couldn’t accept his glamorous praise, “I-I know you’re closing the resort.” An exclamation flashed on the screen.

“Oh… well, I thought that was obvious! A business always has to go where the money is!” He bashfully put his hands behind his back, “I appreciate your concern, but I assure you all of the employees will be properly compensated.” 

Suddenly something hit me- something that needed to be answered. “I watched your fight with Frisk… you said you were going to stay in the underground because humans already have idols but monsters only have you.” The robot’s screen went blank. It was times like these when I wished he was in his EX form. At least that way I could read him better. Yeah even though leg Mettaton is annoying as hell- at least I can see his anger coming. But with the microwave I never know what mood he’s in.

“Well, Burgerpants, I never knew you felt that way… I’m not leaving the underground, all of our shows will still be broadcasted down here. It’s not like I’m running away to the surface- I’ll always come back to my home and my honorable fans! But I have a dream of performing for an enormous audience- filled with both humans and monsters. Cheering and bonding over my performances- I’ll show humanity our heart!” I didn’t agree with Mettaton on a lot of things, but maybe this would actually work. A bit of me hoped he would succeed on the surface and achieve that dream.

“That sounds like a lot of work Boss… Now I don’t know shit about the surface, but according to Alphys they didn’t sound too happy to see us.”

“What in the world are you talking about darling? They adored me up there!” Oh he’s a complete idiot how could I forget. “We’ll have to rebuild nearly every public building, but that’s alright! I nearly dented my head on the top of a door frame, those humans are so small…” He sighed, but the heart popped onto the screen again, “Ha… I still can’t believe you lugged my gorgeous body all the way here.” 

Mettaton suddenly sat upright and with a seriousness asked, “How would you like to have dinner with me sometime? On the surface?”

“Uh, isn’t that kind of personal boss-“

“I’m not your boss anymore, sweetheart. I’m firing you right now… won’t you pretty please let me treat you to some human cuisine? I’ll make sure you leave a good first impression on those humans. It’ll be a nice night- as friends!” My first reaction was a fuck no. I really wasn’t his underling anymore; I could say whatever the hell I wanted to. That realization made me feel so much better.

“No way am I spending another minute looking at your plastic ass. You can’t just fire me then ask me out to dinner- nah, that’s not how it works Mettaton.” The heart on the screen cracked dramatically.

“Is… I-Is this what rejection feels like? To have my heart broken over a date, this splitting pain is agony…”

“It’s not a date so don’t call it that-“

“Alas!” He flung his hand back, and with a dramatic cry said, “I see now that you are not so cheap. You want an honest- pure relationship! I can only win your affection with poems of love and presents! Burgerpants- prepare to be wooed!” And with the sight of my reaction the robot exploded into laughter. Somewhere I heard Alphys giggle as well… and with my tail in between my legs I scattered off the property in an embarrassed huff of defeat. My triumph was a failure.


	5. Humble Snail Farmer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter featuring Napstablook.

I wondered my way home, but found I wasn’t very motivated to be in my apartment. What would I even do? Watch reruns of MTT TV? Maybe I could go say hi to that Nice Cream guy. He visits me a lot, it’s about time I stop by.

My thoughts were interrupted when I say the flicker of a white form out of the corner of my eye. It was that ghost Napstablook, bending their round body over what appeared to be a small flower. I shoved my hands into my pockets and waltzed over, “Hey buddy, what cha’ got there?”

Napstablook gently turned their head and flickered again, “O-Oh… it’s a little flower… but…” Why would there be a flower in Hotland in the first place? Usually you could only find echo flowers in Waterfall. 

I actually had never seen this flower before- well I’m not a flower connoisseur- but it’s leaves were sharp looking and the bulb was a vibrant red. Napstablook tried to touch it with his little nubs, but they just phased right through it, “Yesterday, erm… I saw a human.”

“A human? … Down here in Hotland?”

“Yeah, a big human… or at least… bigger than Frisk. They had a potted flower with them… and not to be creepy but… I followed them…” Just a little bit creepy but ya know I get it, I’d do the same. “so… they planted the flower… dunno why…” 

“What’d the human look like?”

“Um…” Napstablook’s round eyes looked around aimlessly, “Thin… long hair… um… I’m sorry, I’m not very good at describing.” They glanced at the flower again, “It won’t last long here… but it might have a chance in Waterfall.” They looked down at their little nubs then over at me.

“I can dig it up for you, kiddo.” I think they smiled a little bit.

“Oh… I’d like that… um…” They fidgeted uncomfortably, “Not to be rude or anything… but I’d prefer if you’d call me something else.”

“Yeah, I kinda thought you didn’t like that. Considering you’re probably older than me… you’re just, you know, really soft looking and Napstablook is a mouthful.”

The ghost seemed to agree, “Call me… hmm…”

“Uh… Nap? Napsty? Ghosty? Blook? Blooky? Hey Blooky is pretty cute.” The ghost just seemed more uncomfortable, twisting their body in the air, “…”

We decided to just settle on Napstablook for now. I was able to borrow a small spade and a bucket from a Hotland resident, so I dig up the tiny thing. We dispersed for Napstablook’s house via the river person. 

“So this is the famous snail farm?” Napstablook lived in a comfortable little nook in the back of Waterfall’s cave. Twin houses sat next to each other, and the snail ranch surrounded it. The houses were morphed oddly in shape- it must be some kind of ghost architecture- but one was a calm blue and the other a vivid pink. 

“Yeah…” In the little ranch snails tumbled about aimlessly, bumping against each other then casually moving out of the way. Napstablook then showed me into their home, warning me to “watch your ears” when I nearly bumped my head on the top of the door. The house was bare and small, with only a TV, fridge, and computer. It was a very sad looking house, but then again I don’t think ghosts need much. 

I motioned to the fridge, “Huh, I never knew ghosts ate anything… or is it full of snail food?” Napstablook floated to the fridge and casually pulled the fridge open with their little nubs. The fridge was lined with odd foods, all of which were semi-transparent and fluorescent- just like Napstablook.

“Ghost food… I’m particularly fond of ghost sandwiches.” I’ve realized that there’s still a lot about monsters I don’t know about. For example: how does one even make a ghost sandwich? I have so many questions.  
“It’s strange that a ghost eats other things that are ghosts- err, or ghost-like at least. Do you only eat ghost food?”

“Do you only eat cat food…?” Napstablook wondered out loud, completely avoiding my question. 

I wasn’t completely sure if they were being sassy with me so I retorted, “There’s a monster brand called Cat Food but it’s really just products made from fish. It’s nothing like the cat food you’re thinking of.”

Napstablook slowly blinked and twirled slowly, “Mmh… did you know… that humans keep little animals in their home and take care of them… they call them pets.”

“Pets? … I’m sure some monsters do that too.” It’s not common for monsters to take care of smaller creatures that are usually just used for food. These “creatures” are usually smaller animals, but defiantly aren’t monsters like us. They don’t contain any magic or a monster’s soul, so naturally we use those for meat… but meat is scarce and expensive, with the animals quickly being hunted out of existence. Most monsters have turned to synthetic meat, like what glamburgers are made out of. I don’t get to taste fresh fish very often, especially since the company Cat Food sells it at such high prices.

“I guess…” Napstablook floated towards the window and peeked out, “… the snails are kind of like pets… kind of.” They turned to me and with a sudden nervousness stated, “You can leave if you want…” They only became more flustered, “Oh… that makes it sound like I don’t want you here… oh…”

“So… do you want me to leave?” This ghost defiantly had some issues, or at least they were awkward as hell, “I was kind of hoping we could hang out a bit. I’m free the whole day, unless you’re busy or somethin’…” I’m more curious than anything about this ghost. They’re pretty quiet and what I can tell kind of sassy. 

“… okay… I’d like that.” Wow. Was this ghost awkward. But I don’t really care. 

I noticed some CDs lying around on the floor, so I asked, “What kind of music do you listen to, Blooky?” Napstablook tolerated my use of the nickname, but they floated over and held one of the CDS.

“I’m not really sure… I like a lot of music… but maybe swing? And sometimes club music, depends how I’m feeling.” Napstablook seemed like the last monster to go to a club. They then asked, “Do you listen to music?”

I suddenly realized that I literally didn’t listen to any music- at least music I wanted to listen to. “Not really. I’m forced to listen to Mettaton’s screeching all day. It’s a great album, you should buy it sometime.” I included a bit of sarcasm just for fun.

Napstablook’s lifeless eyes seemed to light up, “I have that album… well, it’s not my favorite, but it’s nice to listen to sometimes.” Are they serious? I keep forgetting they’re a fan. Well that won’t last long.

“Sure… enjoy it while you still can.” I wanted to continue that thought but I was interrupted by an obnoxious knock on the front door. A dark feeling came over me. I had a feeling I knew who it was.

“Wow I’m popular today…” Napstablook went over to the door and opened it. Mettaton stood there, a little pink bow pinned to the front of his box-shaped body. His screen glowed a powerful red heart which fluttered with anticipation. He held an obnoxious bouquet of flowers: an arrangement of tiny echo flowers and buttercups. Napstablook moved to the side and said carelessly, “… um… yeah, wrong house Mettaton…”

“Nonsense! This is the right house, I’m here for darling Burgerpants~” He jutted his body out and pointed the bouquet at me. Holy shit was he actually serious. Did this robot really want to go on a date with me? I’m honestly really confused and maybe a little bit concerned.

“Oh great, so you were stalking me?”

“Oh no darling, not at all!” He chuckled and simply stated, “Cameras!” The fucking cameras just won’t ever leave me alone.

Napstablook floated back over, “… Cameras…?” They looked concerned, “… oh… the snails are camera shy, it’s not very healthy for them-“

“Nonsense! The snails are always ecstatic to show off their skills in a grand race! And once they’re on the surface, they’ll glow even more on television!” Mettaton flung out his hand dramatically.

“Blooky, how the hell do you stand this guy? Honestly you could get a serious job in the music industry.” Napstablook didn’t have to settle for this guy, he probably only said yes to the job because he was too timid to say no. He is a fan of Mettaton’s after all, maybe he’s just caught up in the moment.

Mettaton was quiet for a moment, and then exploded back into his usual voice, “Blooky? That’s an adorable nickname! May I call you Blooky as well?”

Napstablook flickered, “U-Um, I don’t like that nickname… o-oh…” They causally floated behind me, seeming to shrink in size and transparency. “Oh… well…” They peeked over my shoulder at the robotic figure, “… only if I can… call you Metta.”

“Aw, then it’s a deal. Won’t we shake on it, darling?” The ghost moved past me and took hold of the robot’s large hand with their two little nubs. You know, maybe they won’t be so bad… Mettaton treats them nice enough, and Napstablook is too calm to get annoyed with him.

Mettaton suddenly rolled up to me and booped me on the nose, “Burgerpants!! Don’t think I’m done with you yet, sweetheart…” My whiskers twitched and I moved my face away from him.

“Will you leave me alone if I eat dinner with you?” I asked in defeat. It would be nice to see the surface- just not with him.

“Of course!” Another heart appeared on the robot’s screen, and a sweet tune came from his speakers, “Oh I was able to serenade you so easily!! Burgerpants, you better give me more of a fight for our next date!” He wagged a finger at me.

“Oh… you’re dating…” Napstablook floated towards the back of the room, “Awkward… totally don’t feel like being a third wheel right now…” 

I opened my mouth to strongly protest but Mettaton zoomed past me and swirled in front of the ghost, “Nonsense, you’re no third wheel! Blooky please have dinner with us tomorrow, it’ll be my treat! Or bring a ghost friend, it’ll be a double date!” I wish he had an off switch.

Napstablook flickered again, they really didn’t like that idea, “O-Oh, no thanks… I’m not into that… Shyren is helping me move the snails to the surface tomorrow…”

Mettaton hesitated again, but simply wagged his finger and stated, “Well that’s alright. We can have dinner another time, just the two of us. Doesn’t that sound nice, Blooky?” The ghost flickered again, clearly embarrassed. Mettaton treated Napstablook particularly well. I’m worried for the poor ghost… 

Mettaton eventually realized what time it was, and with a sudden huff decided he needed to run (more like roll) back to Alphys’s lab. He demanded I be ready tomorrow night at around six so he could take me up to the surface. “And dress up nice! We have to leave a good first impression on those humans! Why don’t you wear one of the outfits I gave you?” He had said. Hell no, I’m not wearing any of those. I do have a simple suit I saved in case I wanted to do an interview for a new job, so I guess I’ll have to wear that.

I stayed with Napstablook for awhile, but I was preoccupied with thoughts of the surface. I eventually left for the night and thanked them for being a polite host. I definitely like Napstablook, but it’s shame I probably won’t see them again. They’ll be too busy working for Mettaton, they’re not going to be a humble snail farmer anymore.


	6. The Surface PART 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BP's first exposure to the surface, accompanied by the reckless Mettaton.

It was just ten minutes before Mettaton would pick me up. I had dressed myself in my finest suit, I even ironed it. I had spent the entire day moping over what was to come. I couldn’t find it in myself to leave my apartment, but I should’ve at least stopped by the Nice Cream Guy’s stand to say hello.

I turned to my clock. It was now five minutes past. I’m not surprised that Mettaton is the type of monster to be late, but he’s also a superstar- he can’t afford to be late for his shows, so how does he do it? Maybe he-

A sudden and sharp knock interrupted my thoughts. Speak of the devil, there he is. I went up to the door and smoothed out my shirt, mentally preparing myself. My tail lashed slowly as I creaked the door open, “Hey Mettaton…” 

The robot loomed over me in his EX form, his big hands on his hips and a pleasant smile on his face. He was wearing a suit as well, one that was especially designed for him. His shoulders still jutted out against the fabric, but it seemed thick enough not to break. “You know Burgerpants, I wasn’t even sure if you were going to dress up… But you just look darling! Did you use a different shampoo or something?” He roughly patted the top of my head, then excitedly stroked my ears, “My, my! You are very soft!”

A low growl started in my throat and my tail only lashed faster. He took the hint and backed off. I grumbled out, “Uh yeah, new shampoo… it’s not MTT brand.” I quickly added. It didn’t mean much to me, but maybe it would take a shot at his confidence. 

“That’s a shame…” He glanced over me and into my apartment. His eyes narrowed and he dropped the charming smile, “Your apartment looks... horrible.” Yeah he’s right, I left my clothes all over the ground and there were cans piling up in the kitchen.

“I didn’t think the great star of the underground was going to judge my lifestyle…” I meant to sound sarcastic, but he just flashed another smile and gently patted me on the head this time.

“Oh I’m not, I assure you. I understand how messy you mammals can be.” What- “Come along Burgerpants! My limo is waiting outside for us.”

Sure enough outside the apartment complex was his shiny limo, all glammed up in pink. I wearily stepped inside the vehicle, only to find that the floor and seats were covered in a thick, pink fur that let off sparkles on my clothing. I tried my best to wipe it off, but to no avail. I glanced over at Mettaton and noticed it didn’t stick to his latex skin. Fantastic.

The limo suddenly began to roll and picked up speed. I had only been in a vehicle a few times before, mainly when I used to live in the city. The robot sat elegantly across from me, staring me down with a little smile, “I’m actually excited for you… Well, and me. This is my first unofficial visit to the surface~ I didn’t want the humans in uniform to bother me again~”

I remember Alphys telling me about Mettaton’s reputation up here. I asked him slowly, “Didn’t you tell them you were originally built to be a human eradication robot? Well done Mettaton…”

He chuckled a little, “I did do that! Well they asked me what I was built for, so I wasn’t going to lie! Of course I wanted to be built just as an entertainment robot, but Alphys and I had an agreement.”

There it goes again. He acts like it was his idea to be built, like he had a conscious before his robotic body. Alphys admitted he’s a monster’s soul that was put into a robot’s body, but I’m still not sure how that’d make sense. “What were you before you became an entertainment robot?”

Mettaton’s smile dropped again and he went quiet, “Hm… well…” He didn’t seem able to say much else, or at least he didn’t want to. It wasn’t often that I got to see him so flustered.

“What’s wrong Metta? Cat got your tongue?” 

He laughed pathetically, “I guess so… Well done Burgerpants, you’re a sharp one! Perhaps I’ll tell you about that someday, but not tonight…” I didn’t like how that sounded. I was hoping this would be the end of me and Mettaton. One final hurray with the worst boss in monster history.

The ride seemed to go on for awhile, but I gradually noticed that the scenery outside was becoming… lighter? I turned to Mettaton and asked, “Did we already cross the barrier?”

“That’s right… don’t you feel anything Burgerpants? There’s barley any magic up here.” I did feel a little strange, but maybe that was just the excitement in my stomach. I glanced out the window again and saw a streak of red and a dash of vibrate pink. Mettaton watched me with a smile and gently asked the driver to pull over for a second. 

The vehicle rolled to a stop and I stepped out cautiously. Closing the limo door behind me, I found myself in an atmosphere that was unknown to me. A gentle wind grazed past us, carrying a chill with it. The vehicle was stationed on a road which seemed a little rough, and had come down from Mount Ebott. The road continued down the steep hill and in the distance I saw tall and rectangular shapes, which I could assume were large buildings. Surrounding us was all green, blades of little plants that went on for miles. The grass swirled gently with the wind, creating a soft and subtle sound from the trembling of the leaves.

I as awestruck by the beauty of it- but none of it could compare to the complexity of what laid above our heads. Vibrant streaks of red and pink were in the sky, fading down to a dark blue on one side and the other to a powerful orange. Gigantic structures of white clouds swirled above, reflecting the colors and creating the most beautiful picture I had ever seen. Over the horizon there was a circular orb that seemed to emit all of this light. “Is that… the sun?”

Mettaton laughed gently beside me. He had been enjoying the view as well, “Yes, that’s it.”

“Does it… always look like this?”

“Not always, but we came at the perfect time. I’ve never seen it like this… I think humans call this a sunset. It only happens at the end of the day.” Not a lot of what he was saying made any sense to me. Down in the underground the days never changed, only the numbers on the clock. Mettaton continued, “And when the sun disappears everything is blanketed in dark, but even then it’s beautiful. And then the stars come out.”

“Stars? We have to stay for those!” I tried not to sound too excited. Mettaton agreed and we enjoyed the scenery for a bit longer before returning to the limo. The ride wasn’t much longer as he came closer to the tall buildings, which Mettaton called the city. The human city was much larger than the monster city, and I’m pretty sure they have more than one…

“We’ll stop here. I want to walk around a bit before we have dinner~ doesn’t that sound nice?” I started to feel nauseas in my stomach. A strange mixture of excitement and anxiety settled within me. I was now in the world unknown to me, and although I’m excited to explore it, I’m also aware humans aren’t very accepting of us. I want to leave a good first impression, and I’m worried Mettaton has already spoiled that for me… and well, for the entire monster race.

We went down the sidewalks of the city, gazing up at the tall buildings that reflected the evening light. They all looked so delicate to me. As we walked Mettaton rambled on about various things he learned about human culture while here. I wasn’t really listening; I was still trying to process everything. We turned the corner- a delicate creature emerged from one of the tall buildings, glancing down a small device in her hands. She seemed distracted, poking and tapping at the thing frantically. There didn’t even seem to be any buttons on it, it was like a tiny screen. It looked similar to my phone, but far less clunky. The human glanced up at our approach but simply looked down at her phone again. I felt relived until she shot her head up again, her red mouth agape. Her phone shattered on the ground when she dropped it.

“Oh what a silly little thing…” Mettaton’s thin arm extended toward the device and delicately picked it up, “My dear you dropped your… play-thing.” We stopped in front of her now. She was visibly trembling, her face a stark white. She seemed to be staring past us. Mettaton pushed the device into her hands, “Ohoho, awestruck already are we?” The human blinked slowly and looked up at the towering robot. 

I don’t know what I expected a human to look like, but it wasn’t this. She was my height, maybe a little taller since she wore heels. Her long and dark hair was wadded up on the top of her head, held together with a ribbon and some clips. Her face seemed caked with some kind of powder or strange substance, but I assumed she had something on her face. She wore many layers of clothing, all different colors and textures. She also held a little brown purse with her, which she was still clutching and squeezing. 

I glanced up at Mettaton. He really did look like a human, Alphys didn’t do that bad of a job. There were still some obvious differences, like the color of his metallic skin and the sharpness of his facial features. I could tell the human was soft and warm-blooded, a mammal like me.

Mettaton patiently waited for the response of the human. The human continued to stare up at him, stiff as a board until she managed to breathe out, “… s-so monsters are real?” This made the robot chuckle, which probably only made her more terrified.

“Of the few humans I’ve met- your reaction by far is the most adorable! Humans are such sweet things, don’t you think Burgerpants?” He really shouldn’t be calling humans ‘things’ but oh well.

“I’m not sure yet… don’t we have reservations or something, Mettaton? Maybe we should, you know, leave…” I really was fascinated with the human, but even I could tell she was about to break down at the sight of us. Mettaton was too dumb of a microwave to even notice.

He waved me off and continued, “Sweetheart, please tell me you saw the news last night.” She screwed up her face, confused. “I was on national news! That’s what they said at least- doesn’t that mean every human was watching?”

To my surprise she spoke softly, “M-Maybe, but I know I wasn’t watching… I… is it true? That you’ve been living underground for hundreds of years?” She went pale again, “I-I didn’t believe it- my husband said it was a hoax.”

It was my turn to speak now, Mettaton had freaked her out enough, “Yeah, it’s all true. Trust me, I don’t think anyone could pull off costumes these good. A lotta monsters should be coming up to the surface soon… It’s beautiful here, nothin’ like the dark caves down below.”

Mettaton seemed to finally be bored with her as he started to notice other humans walking down the street. He brilliantly held out his hand and a small explosion of pink smoke wavered for a moment, but then faded to reveal a beautiful boutique of flowers. He elegantly leaned down and handed the bundle to her, “Toodles, little human~ Be sure to watch for me, I’m very popular you know. You’re very lucky to meet the star of the underground! Remember my name darling: Mettaton!” It had barley been twenty minutes and I was already tired of him. 

We left the human even paler than she was before, shivering and clutching the flowers. Mettaton continued to bicker with nearly every human we passed, and I slowly noticed that humans only had slight differences between them. Some were taller than others, some a little wider, and the color of their hair and skin varied. But their general shape always remained the same. 

Mettaton eventually decided we were lost and asked a human to direct us to the desired restaurant. After a bit of panic from the human, they wearily pointed down one of the quieter streets. “K-Keep going until you reach a stop sign, t-then you’ll turn left, and i-it should be right there…” “Thank you darling! See Burgerpants, humans are so nice!”

The street we went down was far less modern and we didn’t come across any humans. The houses were slammed next to each other and the roads were a bit messy, with bits of trash stuck in the drains. Mettaton seemed disgusted by the amount of trash, but eventually said, “Well, now we know why Waterfall is the way it is…” It took me a second to recognize what he was hinting at. I have only been to Waterfall a few times, but I always stopped by the garbage dump. The garbage dump was filled with humanity’s trash, which came to us from the waterfall. If it wasn’t for the humans’ arrogance we wouldn’t know as much about them.

“So what if humans are a little messy?” I sneered and watched as the robot’s face twisted more. “You probably would’ve never been built if it hadn’t been for all of this trash.” He listened quietly, which urged me to continue, “Our only source of knowledge would have been what the fallen humans told us…”

“I guess you’re right Burgerpants… You’re such a good kitty, my pride and joy! Maybe you will- …” He went silent. This isn’t normal. I followed his gaze towards the center of the street. A small creature stood, tenderly licking its small paws. Its ears flickered gently in the direction of Mettaton’s voice. It glanced over at us slowly, but continued to lick its fur. A small tail was tightly snuggled up against its soft body, but it flicked slowly as it watched. “Burgerpants… what is that?” He asked quietly.

I shrugged, “It’s not a human, or a monster… so an animal?”

“But Burgerpants… it looks like you.” His hand suddenly grabbed my arm, and my tail instinctively flicked back and forth, “Is that what humans call… a cat?” His eye lit up, and suddenly his arms were slinked around me and squeezing in excitement, “Burgerpants!” 

I wheezed and held a growing growl in the back of my throat, “Let off-“ He finally released me with a little gasp. The small creature trotted up to us, it’s tail perked and swishing slowly. It lifted its tiny head, and parted its mouth to give out a pathetic mew.

Mettaton kneeled next to it, and I distinctly followed. The robot’s eyebrow furrowed and his mouth was a straight line- he was very serious. The cat mewed again. “Burgerpants… what is it saying?”

I scowled, “The hell if I know.” It mewed again. “… what? What do you want?” I knew it’d never answer us, but it did seem concerned about something. The cat came forward and rubbed it’s head on my knee, arching its back and letting its tail touch my nose. My ears drew back and I sneezed suddenly.

It looped around me then decided to rub on Mettaton’s pink heels. Mettaton held very still, maybe too still. It sniffed his heels and merrowed once more. Mettaton, still stoic as ever, reached down and rubbed it behind one of its ears, “Sometimes the snails like to be-“ The cat leaned back and suddenly nipped the robot’s finger. “Oh- it bit me!” He huffed and watched as the cat scampered off suddenly. 

We both watched it quietly before Mettaton said, “… I want that goddamn cat.”


	7. The Humans PART 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mettaton offers BP a proposition, but he takes it as a chance to finally lash out against his ex-boss.

We sat across from one another at a small table, the type you’d see in cheap romance movies. There was barely enough room under the table, Mettaton’s long ass legs took up all the room. And of course he had to pick the smallest table in the center of the restaurant, so that every human had a good view of us. Hell, he probably wanted to be stared at, he liked the attention.

Of course the humans wouldn’t stop staring at us. Most of them were dolled up in all sorts of colors and strange accessories, was this normal human fashion or are they just a particular group? I really hope not all humans dress like that, it’s uh- way too flashy for my taste. But I think Mettaton was actually starting to fit in. A woman was wearing a dress that was almost as pink as his chest plate, and some of the men’s’ ties were out of this world. Let’s just say that I felt really out of touch here.

Disregarding the people, the restaurant was actually pretty nice. It had a tall ceiling with dark drapes over the long windows. By now it was dark outside and the pink light had faded behind Mount Ebbot. Above the seating was a little stage, with some humans playing instruments, all of them wearing black and white suits. I actually recognized some of the instruments- but others, not so much. I remember I used to play the recorder when I was just a kitten, but I think it was required so we all did. I also hated playing the recorder…

“Darling, are you paying attention?” Mettaton sharply snapped his fingers in front of my face. Apparently I was staring off and he didn’t like I wasn’t giving him attention. I just shook my head and sighed, looking past the robot again and watch a waiter carry around some drinks. He continued, “So I’ll be moving up here to the city, but I have no idea what apartment to get. Mr. Bigby said I should get a loft, that’s plenty fancy isn’t it? Ohmygosh- Burgerpants! You are so not listening!” 

“Yeah, you’re right…” I mumbled and my ears twitched back in his direction, “… Who’s Mr. Bigby? Some important human?”

Mettaton didn’t seem quite sure himself, “He had some title, but I don’t remember what it was… He called himself the ‘manager of monsters’ but that just sounds plain mean. He’s aiding our transfer to the surface, he said he wants it to be as smooth as possible. I hope he’s good at his job, because I expect my reputation with humans to be a beautiful one!” He tapped the top of the table impatiently, “Isn’t someone going to come over and take our order? Or is it different up here on the surface?”

The waiters were clearly going around to tables and speaking to the customers, but we’d been waiting at our table for a good half hour. “Pft, they’re just avoiding us. They’re all staring at us, but none of ‘em have the balls to talk to us.” Mettaton’s mouth twisted and he frowned. “I knew this was going to happen…” Of course the humans would never accept us. Why the hell did Mettaton think this was a good idea in the first place?

Mettaton suddenly twisted his body around in his seat and spied the closest waiter. The waiter had their back to us and seemed to be mindlessly wiping down an empty table. A sly little grin appeared on his face, “Yoohoo~ Sugar, could we please get some service over here?” The human noticeably budged, but didn’t make a move toward us. They were still rubbin’ down that table. Mettaton’s elastic arm jumped out and swerved past a chair or two to reach the young man. He tapped him in the finger, and with a sudden jolt the man turned and went pale seeing the robot’s arm outstretched to him. Mettaton urged the man to come towards us, “We don’t bite~”

“In a moment sir, there’s quite a bit of people here-“

Mettaton sighed over him, dramatically flinging his other hand up, “You’ve been cleaning that table for a good ten minutes. Put on your big boy pants and come serve us.” The waiter begrudgingly came over. He seemed to swallow his nervousness and put on a sweet smile, but Mettaton wasn’t done with him yet, “So why are you afraid to serve just a couple of monsters, hm? Sweetie, you have no reason to be afraid!”

“Erm…” The waiter seemed more uncomfortable, but to my surprise he answered honestly, “It’s not that I’m afraid of you, I’m sure you monsters are nice peopl- er, you know what I mean. It’s just staggering that there’s been a whole society living underneath our feet for hundreds of years, and we didn’t even know about it… it’s pretty intimidating actually.”

“Whoa, you didn’t even know we existed?” I blurted out, “That’s ridiculous… yeah we had that war but it wasn’t THAT long ago. Even our history books go farther back than that.”

The waiter seemed to clam up now, he could only manage a “yes, we know the war existed, but no one thought it was actually monsters… that’s just in our folk tales.” Mettaton didn’t seem fazed by all the information. He probably didn’t understand what it meant. The fact that the humans didn’t even know we existed was staggering. It was somewhat relieving too… if they knew, would they have tried to break the barrier? Or would they have continued to look the other way? They were the ones that put us down here after all; I just hope all of that resentment is gone now. Most monsters don’t have a grudge against humans, in fact we adore and aspire to be like them. Especially- I glanced over at Mettaton again- that one…

Mettaton ordered us something that sounded really bizarre then sent the waiter on his merry way. He elegantly turned to me and with a little sigh said, “Humans are funny, aren’t they?”

“Not really…” I mumbled, trying not to make eye contact with him. I looked around the room, and of course the humans were staring at us. Some had their phones out (what were they doing with them…?) while others were gradually starting to leave. It was obvious we were disturbing the quiet little restaurant. But Mettaton didn’t care, all he cared was that he made an appearance. “… do you think the humans will like your TV?” I asked absentmindly. 

The robot’s face lit up, “Of course! Burgerpants, please don’t tell me you doubt my abilities! They’ll be dazzled by the amount of effort and beauty I put into my shows. I’ve made sure all of my shows are just like the ones up here on the surface! They won’t even tell the difference- except that mine will be a million times better!”

“Mmmh…” I was convinced. All of a sudden a thought came to me, “Mettaton… you sure that’s a good idea? You know, I bet the humans want to know about us monsters. We try to base our TV on how humans do it, but they’re probably sick of what they already. I bet they’re just as curious about us as we are them… maybe they’d be more interested in monster television, ya know? Something new and special?”

Mettaton’s unpleasant expression curled into a sly smile, “… you’re one sharp cat, Burgerpants. I’ve been so focused on what I’ve wanted that I never considered what the humans would want… you are so right, BP!” He threw his arms up again, “Yes!! More drama! More romance! More bloodshed!” He gritted his teeth (?) and I saw burning passion in his eye. Oh no. What had I done? Mettaton was notorious for his violent sense of humor, he would go at any chance to torture something just for the fun of it. Poor Frisk had to endure it.

His enthusiasm hadn’t died yet. He jumped up from his chair, which slapped hard onto the floor. He looked down at me in my little seat with a sort of passion. I legit was afraid of his intentions, usually when he gave me that look it was time for dress up in his office. “Burgerpants!” Oh no, everyone was looking at us. This was not gonna be my day. “I’ve finally decided. I’ve been debating it for too long, mainly because I doubted you. I really thought you were just some sleezy kid, but you’ve proved to me to be a fine little gentleman!” I didn’t like where this was going. “You know I can’t be famous on the surface- not without help. Even the underground’s star needs help from time to time… I’ve recruited friends and family, but now I’m asking you to help me… I’m asking you to be my agent, Burgerpants. It’s a busy world up here, and I’m not sure if I can keep up with it all. I need someone as sharp and as cunning as you… Blooky is such a darling, but they’re shy and really not a good communicator. Shyren is, well, Shyren… she’s not very good with monsters or humans. And of course Dr. Alphys is working up a storm- haha, she’s really busy these days… And I’m sure I’ll be busy too.” His confidence was dwindling, “Come on Burgerpants, help me reunite monsters and humanity.”

How did he expect me to respond to that? No- He isn’t allowed to ask me that. He fired me only a few days ago, not that I really care but- now he offers me a new job. I’ve hated working for him, why the hell would I want to do it all over again? Hell no, this is my chance to get away from this metallic freak. I don’t have to follow him onto the surface when there’s a whole goddamn world for me to explore. This prick really thinks I’ll say yes… I looked up at Mettaton, my ears bent down. Admittedly I’m a little nervous. Anyone else would jump at this job opportunity, but I know better. I just don’t know how he’ll react. “Mettaton… why the hell do you think I would take this job? Is this some joke?”

The robot fluttered his eye, “Whatever do you mean? I think you’re very qualified and we would make a great team. Our little date tonight has already proved that… BP, you know I can’t do this on my own…”

“Oh, so this really isn’t for me, is it? Alright, that makes sense…” I scoffed. He thinks hiring me will make him successful… he’s really going downhill if he thinks that. “I thought you were the underground’s great star. But to me it sounds like you just want me because you know you’re as dumb as a pile of rocks. You’d sizzle out in a second up here on the surface…” It was nice to say that. I finally had the upper hand, I wasn’t the one being humiliated this time.

But to my dismay Mettaton’s face screwed up, “I’m being kind to you! You just lost your job and I’m giving you the opportunity of a lifetime! You said it yourself that you wanted to be an actor, this is the closest thing you’re going to get.”

“Oh so you don’t think I’m good enough to be an actor?”

“I did not say that- well you know what maybe you won’t be- with that attitude of yours! I’ve told you this once Burgerpants and I’ll tell you again: you’ve got to pull your head out of your ass. Stop moping around and go for your dream if you really want it. You never try hard enough.” This was serious if Mettaton was cursing. He usually forbids it in his presence, since it was bad to develop “non family friendly” habits. 

“Are you kidding me!? I try so goddamn hard!” I shrilled out that last part. I really didn’t mean for it to be so loud. If someone wasn’t looking at us, they definitely were now. We were in such a heated argument I seemed to forget that the humans were here… it just felt so good, to be able to yell and scream at this jackass. A lot of my anger wasn’t coming from the proposition exactly, but from the grudge I had developed from working behind that stove all this time. But I still continued all the same, “I worked morning to night nearly every day, I cooked so many goddamn burgers on that rusty grill! Not to mention I had to put up with your bullshit all the time! So don’t tell me I don’t try hard enough when I’ve been working my ass off for you. In fact I think you owe me, so don’t act like you’re doing me a favor by letting me work for you again!” My throat was hoarse and I swallowed back my breath then panted quietly. In my moment of madness I had stood as tall as I could in front of the enormous robot with my chest puffed up and staring right into his eye. I usually held my head down when he was around, and only now did I realize how tall he really was.

Mettaton’s face softened. He didn’t look angry at all. “Darling… I had no idea…” My skin started to crawl and my face went cold. My heart thumped against my chest- I was so embarrassed. I wished he would’ve just screamed at me back, but no, he was the calm and collected adult. I suddenly felt like a child that had lashed out immaturely at his mother. I was supposed to be the collected one, but maybe that shows that I still have some growing up to do. I felt obliged to apologize, but that burning anger kept gnawing at me to lash out even more. “… I think maybe we should talk a walk, hm? We can grab some dinner while we’re out! Maybe some street food?” His particular smile made me feel like I didn’t have a choice in the matter.


	8. The Society PART 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last part of BP'S and MTT'S journey to the surface. They learn more about each other and strange human culture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy if you're still reading this I appreciate it. This was probably my favorite chapter to write, anyway thanks for the support
> 
> (Edit: reworded some things in this chapter because I get way TOO WORDY)

We lumbered out of the restaurant shamefully. Mettaton’s hand was on my back, and in an odd way it was both comforting and threatening. Upon exiting we saw that a crowd had gathered outside, some of which had begun to swarm inside the restaurant. The manager was hurriedly pushing people back, insisting they can only go into the restaurant if they were going to dine. They were here for us. “Monsters! We heard there were monsters!” “Yes, monsters!” “Where are they?” “Are they scary? What have they done?” “Do they dress well?” “What?”

We stepped out into the crowd. My stomach churned even harder. Mettaton noticed my weariness and decided to break out his charming smile, “Hello darlings! Looking for us, are you? We’re right here, take a good look!” He posed dramatically, enjoying the audience’s surprised expressions. They took out their phones. Mettaton jutted his hip out, “You’ve really got to tell me what those phones do! Hmm… why are you holding it up to me? Is it a microphone?” He suddenly snatched the closest phone and held it up, “My, what is this?” The human didn’t seem to care, they were too ecstatic to even notice. We had phones in the underground, but they were far chunkier and had thick buttons, while the phones on the surface were completely smooth and elegant. Anyway Mettaton decided it was a microphone and continued to speak, “I’m sure you’re all very excited to see us finally on the surface.” I noticed some people with large cameras that seemed to push through the crowd confidently. When they got to Mettaton they just about slapped the phone out of his hand and shoved a real microphone into it instead. Mettaton gasped pleasantly, “Thank you-“

“So you’re a monster that came up from the underground. Why are you out tonight? Do you feel safe in our community, knowing that the majority of us up here are humans?” The woman asked suddenly. I assumed she was a reporter, since she was all dressed up unlike everyone else.

“Mh…” He blinked thoughtfully, eventually saying, “Yes, I feel very safe up here. I have full trust in you humans, and I hope you’ll trust monsters as well! I’m not sure what your folk tales say about us, but I assure you none of it is true.”

“Can you really use magic? How strong is it?”

“That depends from monster to monster. All monsters contain magic within their soul, but not all are capable of harnessing this power and bending it to their will.”

The reporter suddenly turned to me, “What do you think?” I just stared mindlessly for a moment. Mettaton suddenly budded in again.

“Oh don’t look at him, he’s just my cat! Come on darlings, don’t you want to know more about the star of the underground? If anyone knows anything about monsters, it’s me!” This egotistical attitude of his wasn’t unusual, but I found it disgusting that he had the nerve to be so brash when he knew I was already pissed off… But maybe he had a different intention. He knew I was upset; maybe he was just trying to take the attention off me. I’m not sure if Mettaton is capable of such thoughtfulness, but I like the idea.

It eventually became obvious that the mob of people weren’t planning of leaving us alone anytime soon, so we took the only chance we got to bolt out of the crowd. The crowd didn’t follow for long, they seemed to get tired pretty easily, or maybe we just won’t worth the chase. Mettaton had weaved us through some back streets, many of which were becoming increasingly unattractive and dirty. We were definitely lost now. 

“We didn’t even get to try any human food…” Mettaton complained mildly, “Your experience on the surface isn’t going as I planned…” He turned to me and plopped his big hand on my tiny shoulder, “… First, I would like to apologize.” Wow an apology from the great star of the underground. For some reason his words just sounded bland. “… I don’t think I ever really appreciated the work you did for me, and maybe I overestimated our friendship. If I knew you were just putting up with me, well, I would’ve eased off. I never knew you felt like that…” I couldn’t help but feel a little touched by his formal apology. It was nice to hear that he teased me not out of the cruelness of his heart- but because he’s a dumbass.

“Yes,” He continued as if he heard my thoughts, “My teasing gets out of hand, but I never intended to upset you. I would never want to hurt a colleague, especially one that was once my fan… to disappoint my fans is my greatest fear, Burgerpants. I know you aren’t fond of me now, but you once were, which means the world to me. And you’re right- I do owe you. I owe my fans everything, because without them I would still be a nobody. And I especially owe you something, which is why I’m giving you the opportunity to finally be in the acting business. You won’t be right where you want to be, but this is the way you can make a name for yourself. But… if you really can’t stand me, then I guess you’ll have to find some other way. But my offer still stands… until I find someone else to hire that is.”

I was looking down at the ground, tail limp and ears flopped. I felt miserable. He was right, and it made me so pissed off. I would’ve jumped at this opportunity a year ago, but now I just felt like an idiot for not taking it. To be his underlying again would be painful as well, but would it be different this time? Would Mettaton really treat me differently, or is he just naturally an asshole? Something in the back of my mind gnawed quietly, telling me he wasn’t an asshole, but just a brash character. 

“Just think about it, Burgerpants.” Maybe it was that nickname that pissed me off. He just apologized to me yet he was still using it. As long as I was Burgerpants I’d always be his pathetic underling that worked tirelessly over that grill.

“Do you even know my real name?” I asked with bitter curiosity. 

The robot gave me a sad smile, “Do you really think I know any of my employee’s names? I’m an arrogant klutz that doesn’t have much time for dillydallying with my workers. The only one I bothered was you… well, I guess I’m sorry for that too. What is your real name then?”

His sincere honesty made me uncomfortable. “It’s uh- um…” No one had called me that name in a long time. Maybe my sister did when she called me that one time, but since then I’ve been Burgerpants. “… Just call me Burgerpants, alright? You’d forget my name anyway. It’s boring and nothing interesting, not like Mettaton.”

“Aw, well if it makes you feel better my name wasn't always Mettaton. So… that makes us fair!”

“Not really, since- …” My ears perked back up, “Wait what the hell- what your name then? Before Mettaton?”

“Okay then what’s your name?” Mettaton purred, leaning over to have a good look at me.

“That-“ I wanted to retort back but I decided it wasn’t worth it. I begrudgingly reached into my back pocket to pull out my pack of cigarettes. I watched as the robot’s face screwed up in disgust. “What? Can a monster not have a good smoke?” I huffed.

“No, no, of course you can… It just smells bad, you know how I feel about it.”

“Can you even smell-“ I was interrupted by a sudden siren that seemed to explode my ears by the abruptness of it. We both turned and down the street saw an oddly shaped vehicle coming towards us, the red and blue lights on top of it flashing. I narrowed my eyes and lashed my tail- those lights were really annoying.

“Oooh, what’s this?” Mettaton didn’t seem annoyed a bit. The car pulled up beside us and the noise finally stopped. A rather large human stepped out of the vehicle and slammed the door behind him with a great shove.

His head was large and rectangular, and his face appeared to be squished, with his glasses pressed hard against his eyes. However he spoke with a very calm voice and said, “I’m sorry folks but apparently you’re not supposed to be out here…”

“Mmmhhh, the barrier is broken, we’re allowed to be on the surface you know. I thought everyone knew that…” Mettaton huffed, a bit confused.

“We got many reports of a couple of monsters roaming our streets… we’ve been strictly ordered to relocate all unsupervised monsters to Ebbot city.”

“Ebbot city…?” I knew there was Mount Ebbot, but I didn’t know about a city also named after it.

Mettaton noticed my confusion and explained, “The humans are helping us build our own city on top of Mount Ebbot, where the entrance is located. It’s only temporary, just until Mr. Bigby can convince the committee to let us live where we please. There are some exceptions though,” Mettaton turned to the man, “The king and queen are already moved up here along with some other very important monsters. For example, me!” He puffed out his chest. Even though Mettaton was a good two feet taller than him, the human still wasn’t intimidated.

“Sir, ma’am, whatever you are- that doesn’t mean you can roam wherever you please. I was just told that monsters should always have humans with them. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to either take you back.” He coughed into his hand, “Now I just gotta check you don’t have any weapons on you and we’ll be on our way.” When we didn’t move he said, “Put your hands up please… over your head- no, up higher please.” We wearily obeyed him.

The man frisked the robot, and he looked very confused while he touched the metal and realized Mettaton didn’t have pockets. Mettaton was just as uncomfortable. The man noticed the switch and asked, “Now what does this here do?”

“It just puts me into a different form- I really recommend you don’t flip my switch.” The man still seemed weary, but decided to let this one go. While I was being frisked Mettaton asked, “Why are you checking if we have weapons…? Do you really think that will make us vulnerable?”

The man stopped and turned to Mettaton suddenly, “What are you implying? I heard you monsters can use magic, but that can’t be really true is it? It’s just teeth and claw.”

“No, we can use magic!” Mettaton cheerfully replied, jumping at any chance to show himself off, “See, look at this darling. I can make weapons appear out of thin air!” There was another poof of pink smoke and suddenly a jarring sound went off as a whole chainsaw appeared in his hands. The robot innocently held the thing up, letting its ringing tone sound throughout the city.

The man nearly jumped out of his boots and screamed for Mettaton to put “that damn thing” away. “Oh! Alright.” Mettaton let the thing poof back into nonexistence, leaving nothing behind like it had never been there.

The human growled, we seemed to be getting on his nerves. He grabbed a handcuff from his belt and pulled Mettaton’s arms behind his back. He tried to handcuff them, but his metal wrists were far too thick. “Why are you cuffing my hands, sir…?” Mettaton didn’t understand and neither did I. The man growled again and really gave up on trying to control us monsters, “Just get in the goddamn car so I can drive you crazy bastards back to the mountain.”

“Ah, well- I promised my friend here I would show him human cuisine, we still have to finish our date-“ “You can always do that another time.” “I don’t see why we can’t finish our night out now-“ “You’re on thin nice, buddy.” “Mmmh, no darling, you’re the one that’s on thin ice. We’ve done nothing wrong and you’re making us leave.” They continued to banter while I stood there like a careless idiot.

I decided to end it and just said, “You know what Mettaton? I’m actually really tired. I would just love to sleep in my MTT-brand bed right now.”

“You’re right, I’m a bit drained myself.” He turned back to the man, “Alright then, off we go.” We entered the vehicle, and the man demanded that we sit in the back. There was barley any room in the backseat, Mettaton’s fat ass took up all the room. Between the back and front seats were protective bars that seemed to separate us. My stomach churned as I slowly realized why they were there. This car was likely used to transport dangerous people… or monsters. So the humans thought we were dangerous- well, Mettaton did just shove a whole chainsaw in that guy’s face. The worst I can do is scratch you a little, but even then I keep my claws nice and trimmed.

The ride back to the underground was slow and exhausting; Mettaton’s endless talking made it unbearable. The men eventually turned on the radio though and let us listen to some human music, which was very… interesting.

We arrived home and were dumped off at the exit. We then had the River Person take us back to Hotland, where Mettaton walked me back to my apartment. He usually strutted around in that gait of his, but now he seemed to drag his feet. “I’m so low on battery…” He whined, “The surface is so draining… and, well, I’m not usually in this form all day.” He cheekily looked down at me and asked, “Can’t I have a sleepover with you? Technically I own the whole complex anyway.”

“Hell no, I’ve had enough of you for one night.”

“Boohoo, you’re no fun Burgerpants…”

“Just leave before you run out of batteries again.”

Mettaton seemed to relish that memory, “Oh that’s right, you’re my little hero.” I eventually got the robot to leave, but he insisted that I call him once I made my decision on his offer. I begrudgingly agreed, and when he left I dragged myself up to my room.

I flopped down onto my bed, and all of a sudden those thoughts came rushing back to me. The offer that Mettaton gave me was almost what I’ve ever wanted- or it was a start at least. My mind wandered endlessly and I just kept thinking in circles. I couldn’t make a decision right now, I needed to let it rest and think things through… yeah, that sounded like a good idea… before I knew it I had passed out on my bed, still in my suit.


	9. Human Eradication Robot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphys gives a presentation to scientist elites while Mettaton patiently waits for his turn to show off.

The surface is beautiful place. I’ve been told it’s vast and filled with rich human culture, and I honestly want to learn everything about humanity as quickly as I can. I’ve achieved so much in such a short amount of time; I still can’t believe I’ve actually met a human. The human fan club from all those years ago would be so proud. And by “club” I mean me, Alphys, and Blooky. We only had one meeting, but those few minutes of talking to that dorky lizard turned my life around completely. 

How am I supposed to describe Alphys? She’s one of the sweetest monsters out there with a dorky yet charming humor. I owe everything to her; she was the one that made my dreams possible. But sometimes I take advantage of that and I forget how much she means to me, so… I kind of agreed to go to one of her nerdy scientist meetups? She’s been so ecstatic about the surface and all of their scientific theories and whatnot that she’s had no free time. She’s constantly reading articles, visiting labs, going to lectures, and now she has a lecture of her own scheduled. She’s going to teach the humans the basics of monster magic.

Alphys actually didn’t want to have the lecture- she was far too nervous when she first found out. Mr. Bigby scheduled it for her, insisting that “word has gotten around about monster magic and same people are getting nervous. It would be best if we educate the people properly on monster magic so they aren’t scared… also we have particular questions over, ahem, your robot friend here.” I was bit agitated by his last comment, but whatever. I have no problems answering questions about myself, but the way he said it made me seem like the bad guy. So anyway I’m going with Alphys as her little assistant. I really don’t know how to explain magic, so I’ll just stand there and look pretty. That’s what Alphys told me to do at least.

“Are you ready dear?” I had asked her in the backroom. Alphys was going to preach in one of the largest buildings I had ever seen- a stadium. The humans said they usually played sports on the field and the bleachers would be filled with fans, but just for tonight it would be filled with curious scientists.

Alphys rung her hands together, “Ready? O-Oh gosh Mettaton I don’t t-think I’ll ever be ready. I’ve run through my presentation a million times b-but I still stutter and I’m so nervous. L-Like, what if one of my experiments goes wrong? What i-if I’m so nervous my magic doesn’t work correctly?”

“Mmh…” I placed my hands on the side of my rectangular body. Alphys told me to save my EX form for later in the presentation, just to wow them. “If anything goes wrong, just know that I can talk to the audience for as long as you need!”

“O-Oh yes, you do talk a lot. That’s a good way to s-stall time…” I wasn’t sure how to feel about that, but I let it slide- mainly because it’s true. Alphys still seemed nervous, visibly sweating and complaining her lab coat was too hot. “L-Let’s see, I should talk about souls, basic magic structure, the core, then I’ll do some small experiments, then- um…”

“Then time to show me off?” I purred dramatically, a big heart flashing on my screen, “Or should I be saved for the finale?”

Alphys laughed a little, “M-Mettaton, don’t put so much value in yourself. Y-You are amazing, but you’re not the only monster that’s going to show off their magic. Miss Toriel, Papyrus, Undyne… they’ll all be here too. B-But I said they could come in later, I don’t want them to have to sit through the whole presentation.”

“Uhuh, but you’re making me?” I crossed my arms in a sassy fashion, but of course I was just teasing the darling. I knew she needed me for support, “Oh whatever, I see how it is.” The lizard’s face started to get red and she frantically shook her head.

“N-No, that’s not-“

“I’m just messing with you darling! Oh come on, I’m made of metal, I’m tougher than that!” I poked her side and she laughed a little, but there was still an edge to her voice. “Is everyone going to be there? What about little Frisk?”

“U-Um-“ She pushed up her glasses, “No, Frisk and Sans were busy. I don’t remember what they told me- o-or maybe they didn’t- but they couldn’t be here. A-And the King went to some big meeting… B-But that’s okay, I just needed a few volunteers to help me out.”

I knew there were more humans than monsters out there, obviously since the surface was much bigger than the underground. But- the amount of people that were stuffed into the stadium was staggering. Not only were the bleaches filled, but they had also placed rows and rows of chairs on the field, leaving only a small bit of room for Alphys to do her presentation. She had a table with her equipment and her computer. Her computer was connected to the giant screen that was placed above the bleachers.

Her presentation began very smoothly. She stuttered a bit, but was confident in the information she was giving them, and soon enough she was so passionate that she seemed to forget all those people were there. Alphys was very lucky- Even I haven’t performed in front of an audience this large! The humans seemed to be very intrigued by soul magic, all of which were writing down notes. While she spoke I mindlessly stood by her side, rolling back and forth a little bit. This was really boring, but I’d have to bare it for her.

Eventually we brought out some of the others monsters. Undyne had no problem showing off her spears, forging the brightest one she could just to get something out of the audience. She couldn’t stop herself from flinging the darned thing in the bleachers, narrowly missing one of the humans. She exploded into excited laughter, only to cause Alphys to panic and quickly usher her out. Undyne did put on a show, but putting a human’s life in danger was unacceptable. However the humans didn’t really care, in fact one of them tried to collect a sample from the spear, only to have it dissolve into nothingness.

Alphys also used Papyrus and Miss Toriel to show off the different types of magic. Undyne and Papyrus could conjure up weapons (well, spears and bones) while the queen was capable of creating and manipulating fire. All of a sudden questions were springing up from the audience; they still didn’t understand how monsters were capable of harnessing magic.

“Monsters are made up of magic, true,” Alphys began, “But humans are filled with determination. Determination isn’t like magic at all, but it’s very powerful against us monsters. You see, a human soul is about the same as ten monster souls…” There were murmurs in the audience, they were still very confused. “Determination is a substance. I-I really don’t know much about it either, but I-I know it has very powerful abilities.” Alphys had firsthand experience with determination, but of course she wasn’t going to reveal how she knew that information. If the humans found out about all of those children souls, well, there might be another war after all. For all the humans knew, Frisk was the only human that fell into the underground. I didn’t like lying to them, but it was only way to keep both sides peaceful. 

“W-Well, I’m just about done, but I just wanted to introduce you to one m-more monster… Y-You’ve probably been wondering who this cute rectangle is.” A heart automatically displaced on my screen and I rolled forward. “This is M-Mettaton, my greatest invention… He’s a robot with a monster’s soul.”

“Hello darlings~”

Alphys continued, “Y-You see, I was able to extract a monster’s soul and create life out of it, in a new body made of metal.” The murmuring became louder. “A monster’s soul is the cultivation of their being; it’s where our magic comes from.” Yes Alphys was lying a bit about my creation, but the basics of it was true. “I-I know humans have started to create robots based on electricity, but Mettaton here runs on magic AND electricity. He still has to charge- like w-when I charge my phone- but he can also harness the power of magic because he has a monster’s soul… H-He also has another form, which I actually designed to be as human-like as possible. You see he was built to be an entertainment robot- d-down on the surface we idolized humans-“ She started to fumble more, but quickly said, “W-Well let’s just show you off then. May I, Mettaton?” She asked, portraying to my switch.

I had been patient long enough- now it was time for the underground’s star to show off! When the switch was flipped I was encased in the velvety smoke. Alphys coughed and waved her hand, which gave me the perfect opportunity to snatch the microphone away from her. I elegantly stepped out of the smoke, “Here I am, darlings~ Yes, yes, I know, you haven’t seen anything this elegant up on the surface now have you?” The expression of the audience quickly changed when I revealed myself. They were quite shocked- all of their faces were very adorable. 

Alphys heaved a bit sigh but made no attempt to take the microphone from me. She was clearly too embarrassed, her face a bright red. I strutted across the little area Alphys had set up for herself and casually wrapped the microphone’s cord around my finger. “As you can clearly tell, I’m of the best and highest quality of technology. A perfect individual with no flaws whatsoever! Sure I can be a bit brash sometimes, but I’m a very busy robot as you can tell. That’s show business baby!” How I turned this presentation into my own little show- I could never tell you, but it’s so much more interesting. Upon seeing Alphys’s horror I exploded into charming laughter, which sounded a little bit more evil than I intended. 

“M-Mettaton, you’re CRAZY!” She huffed, completely out of breathe, “C-Can’t you just let me finish up the presentation in one piece without you taking the show for one SECOND-“

I swiftly turned away from my dear friend and asked smoothly, “Any questions for me or my dear Dr. Alphys? I’d like to show off my magic, but-“ I rolled my eye back over to the lizard and dramatically claimed, “She’s a bit embarrassed.” Alphys continued to screech at me, but she wasn’t the one with the microphone so I bet they didn’t hear her.

Some humans actually did come down from the stands, while some remained motionless in their seats. But none of them left- they were hooked! I handed the microphone to the first human that came up to me. I looped my arm around his back, “Alrighty what’s your name my dear human?”

“It’s Robert Finnies- that doesn’t matter- you said you had abilities…? How does your magic work if you’re not a monster- or at least have the body of a robot?”

“Like Dr. Alphys said, my magic come from my soul, not my body. See?” I motioned to the capsule underneath my chest plate that held my soul. My soul was light and airy, but it floated aimlessly in my magic within the container. 

“S-So that’s your soul? A monster’s soul?” He nervously touched my waist, which was a little strange feeling, but I understood his curiosity. 

“Try not to touch too much, darling, a monster’s soul is very delicate!” At my words the scientist jumped back. I laughed again, “Unlike other monsters, I can take my soul out… that way my magic isn’t so restrained.”

“M-Mettaton…” Alphys sighed and gave up. Some other scientists went over to her, and she was happy to finally answer some questions. It seemed the presentation was running to an end, but the curiosity and questions of the crowd were still aplenty. 

I carefully removed my soul from my body, remaining firm and gently allowing my being to pull itself out from the physical container. It felt nostalgic being out of my corporeal body, it made me a little sad even. But the magic flowing through my soul seemed to wash over those emotions and enveloped me in a sense of raw energy and power. And it felt good not to be limited to physical things- to be something of ghostly nature that is. It’s actually similar to soul bonding, in the sense that my soul is exposed and vulnerable. 

I decided to give the humans a bit of a show. My soul gradually glowed more, becoming diaphanous as spurts of my magic shot out. Usually I used these spurts as weapons in battle (Frisk would know that more than anyone) but for now I kept them contained. In the area around me circular orbs began to form, and suddenly exploded into a pink puff, which dissolved to reveal my branded bombs. Before they could react they disappeared, only to be replaced with mini versions of me, which floated gently to the ground. I began to feel pressure in my other eye, the sort of uncontained magic where the tension in my skull grew. I felt obligated to go further- I pulled out every trick I had. The wonder in their eyes filled my soul up with even more power. They were in awe of my abilities, all eyes on me- the humans loved me. Glamour, lights, lazars, bombs, chainsaws- my power grew and my metal frame begged to transform further. My metallic skin was itching and my soul’s aching pulled- 

It all stopped. I felt the switch on my back flip suddenly. The yellow lizard jumped back as I reverted back to my rectangular form. “…” I turned to the lizard and tried to make a displeased face but alas I had no face. 

Despite the sudden end to my performance, the humans seemed to be very impressed and applauded me with such praise. Alphys gave out a big sigh, relieved. She clapped as well, “Y-Yes, well done Mettaton… b-but maybe not so much next time. M-Magic really drains your battery you know.”

“Mmmh… yes, you’re right. I do feel a bit woozy.”

Alphys answered a few more questions, but decided enough was enough and we went back home. To our apartment, that is. We rode in my limo, but they insisted a human should drive us around instead of my usual driver. I couldn’t complain, but I didn’t like the whole ‘monsters can’t be alone’ rule.

I was laid down in the back, really tired and feeling a bit lazy, “…Dear, why’d you stop me? Stopping a performer’s act… that’s so cruel.”

She gave me a polite smile, “It was very fun to watch. I don’t think you ever did that on your shows in the underground… w-well except the one with Frisk. B-But you already lost so much battery and I don’t want you passing out… I-It’s a good thing humans have to accompany you, Mettaton. If you ran out of battery on your own-“ She wrung her hands, “… w-well, you know what I mean.”

“Oh darling, don’t make it sound like I’m some killer robot… All monsters have to be accompanied because we’re ‘dangerous’ as the humans say.”

“…” She hesitated, “W-Well… um, actually, not all of us Mettaton. They made a new verdict a couple of days ago- um- only certain monsters have to be followed.”

An exclamation flashed onto my screen, “What, really? Why is that? Do you have to have humans with you?”

“N-No, I don’t, since I can’t really… use magic like you do at least. Um- certain monsters have to have humans with them, depending on their level of magic… Asgore was able to talk to the committee a bit and change their minds on some things. T-That doesn’t mean all monsters can move into the city yet, but it’s a good start… you know they talked about this after they caught you and Burgerpants wondering around the city… ” She sighed again, “B-But listen Mettaton… you’re obviously a strong monster, so maybe you should not have… you know…”

“… Show off my magic? But darling they loved it! I wasn’t using it to hurt them, it wasn’t dangerous at all.”

“Y-Yes, but- you told them you were built to be an entertainment robot! B-But why would an entertainment robot have so many weapons and strong magic abilities? M-Metta, you literally made bombs and chainsaws appear! T-They’re going to start questioning why you were really built and- you know… that leads to the whole seven souls thing. They can’t know why you were built… they can’t know NEO exists…” 

“…” She was right. I’m linked to the slaughter of those children, but then again we all are. I was built to be a human eradication robot first- and an entertainment host second. “Yes Alphie, I know… I just got caught up in the moment. I’ll try to be more careful next time… but other than that, your presentation was just fabulous! Very, very boring, but it sounded complicated enough to be interesting!”

She gave me a toothy grin, “Thanks Metta. I was nervous at first but I eventually got into the groove of it. B-But now I’m just really exhausted, and kind of stressed…” Her eyes seemed to close slowly, but all of sudden they popped back open, “Oh! Mettaton!! You will not believe this- did you know there’s a season three AND FOUR of Mew Mew Kissy Cutie already out!? Apparently it’s been out for ages but I couldn’t get my hands on it because you know the underground!” She grabbed onto the sides of my box-like form, “T-There is so much anime out there for me to explore, Mettaton- you have no idea! Who needs sleep when you have anime!!”

“W-Whoa-“

“Please Mettaton,” She released me and looked at me with those soft brown eyes, “I think I can get onto the human’s internet and find Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 3, but I NEED someone to make sure I don’t fall asleep.”

“So… you want me to come back to your apartment with you and watch really bad anime instead of letting you sleep?”

“Exactly! And you can charge while we’re watching it too. At least one of us won’t be tired- so you can keep me awake.”

“Mmmh…” I shrugged, “How could I say no?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this a month ago but for some reason never posted it. Wow go me


	10. So, Friends?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Burgerpants is starting to develop new relationships and is visited by some new characters.

(Burgerpants POV)

Its strange not having to go to work. Now all I do is lie around in my apartment and complain about my noisy neighbors upstairs. Every hour I check my fridge and hope it’s magically filled with sashimi- but it’s always the same bottle of curdled milk. I finally decided I should get off my ass and go out. I left my apartment, but found my feet taking me back to the MTT resort. I knew I had no place being there, but it was familiar and I really just needed to go somewhere. Anywhere.

I saw a familiar fuzzy face just outside the glass doors. The Nice Cream Guy stood at his stand, scooping out a large spoonful of mint cream and plopping it into a waffle cone. He handled the cone to his customer and charmingly thanked them for their service, and off they went.

I felt awkward just standing there, staring, but the bunny locked eyes with me and waved me over, “Burgy! Where have you been, man!?” I stiffly made my way over. I bashfully rubbed my arm and looked everywhere but him. Yeah, I was really embarrassed and flustered- I promised to visit him at his stand, what, like two weeks ago?

“Um… Well, I got fired…”

The bunny’s ears flopped down, “… you got fired? So you don’t work at the grill anymore? Shit… do you mind telling me what you did?”

“It’s not what you think. I didn’t do anything wrong- i-it’s just- the resort is closing down… so, I mean, I kind of bad mouthed Mettaton, and he fired me- but not for that reason!” It was hard to make myself sound like a good monster, “He fired me cause… he wants me to work for him on the surface.”

“Oh… so is the resort moving to the surface?”

“No, he’s not going to open up anymore resorts… apparently the humans aren’t into those anymore. They watch a lot of television though, so Mettaton has a lot of new ideas for… you know, that sort of stuff…” I took in a big breathe, “So, I helped Mettaton out one time when he ran out of batteries… and the next day he asked me to… work as his agent on the surface.”

“Whoa…” The bunny leaned on his stand and just looked at me with his jaw open, “This sounds awesome!! You’ll be a great agent!”

“W-What- like hell I would!! Why does that microwave think I have the qualifications to be an agent!?” My tail lashed but I felt my face start to burn with embarrassment. 

“Oh come on Burgy!” The bunny laughed then continued, “You’re super cool, you’re smart, and you’re the slyest cat I know! Who’s better to keep Mettaton in check than you? Also you get to work on the surface! That’s amazing!”

My face felt like it was on fire, “U-Um…”

“No, listen to me Burgy.” He grabbed my paws, squeezing them like there was no tomorrow. I felt like I was going to deflate with embarrassment. I really wasn’t used to such praise, especially from someone I don’t hate. “You said you wanted to be an actor, right? Well agents and actors go hand in hand! I bet you’d get ton of opportunities, or at least you’d be able to make your name known. Imagine this- if someone wants Mettaton to be on their show, they have to come to you FIRST! All the big shots will know who you are in no time!” He had a point.

“W-Wow, I guess you’re right…” By now my tail was limp and my ears were flat against my head, “G-Geez, thanks- um… whoa, wait, what is your name? I can’t just call you Nice Cream Guy…”

“Well why not? I call you Burgerpants- or I guess Burgy- so you call me, hmm… Cream Guy!”

“I am not calling you Cream Guy…” 

“Oh fine, but I would’ve gotten a kick outta that.”

I rolled my eyes and smirked a little. I liked this guy, I’m glad I get to see him sometimes- but would I ever see him if I went to the surface? I lost that little smirk, “So, uh… What do you think you’re going to do now? Now that the barrier’s down?”

The bunny thought with a pleasant smile, “Well, I didn’t have any plans. Monsters are still down here, and they’re still buying nice cream! But I might go up the surface eventually; maybe the humans want to try some of my signature flavors.”

“Y-Yeah…” I fumbled a bit, “… I doubt we’ll be seeing a lot of each other then… if I do take the job, that is.”

The bunny suddenly gave me a big smile, “Nonsense. You just give me a call and we can go hang out!”

“But I don’t have your number-“ That sly bunny, “-did you just make me ask for your number!?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about! Well, do you want my number?” I sourly agreed and we exchanged numbers. It was nice to have someone to talk to- someone that I actually liked. He was really nice, but he’s probably that nice to all his customers. My skin began to crawl. Was I just a customer to him, was he just trying to woo me so he could have my money? No one is ever nice without having an alternate motive. I learned that quickly in the MTT resort.

I left him to his work. I really didn’t feel like going into the MTT resort, I might run into one of my co-workers. I didn’t have the heart to tell them the resort was closing. There was really nowhere in Hotland I wanted to go, everything here looked the same. There weren’t any pretty sights or any interesting activities, nor did I know anyone here. I could go to Waterfall, it’s beautiful there… maybe I’d drop by to say hello to Napstablook- but they probably already moved out of their house. 

“Oh. My. God. Is that THE Burgerpants?” Oh no. I had been standing outside of the resort like an idiot, and apparently I had caught the attention of two female monsters. Their names were Bratty and Catty, and I knew them way too well.

“Burgerpants, like, we totally have not seen you in like forever!” Catty purred and flipped her hair. Before I could react I was surrounded, a towering alligator on my left and a cruel cat on my right.

“We even went into the resort, to like, find you! It’s so gross in there! So much pink. Like, not that there’s anything wrong with pink, but it only looks good when it’s on me... or Mettaton!” Bratty quickly added and leaned her arm on my shoulder, her tongue flickering out of mouth like that of a snake.

“Oh Bratty, you are so right!” The girls exploded into a chaotic giggle, and I just stood there stiff and scared. I could only think about the incident that occurred with them- those were the most embarrassing moments of my life. Ever since then I’ve avoided them at all costs. Sometimes they’d bother me on my way home, trying to get me to buy their trash. I had tried to make these girls happy once, but now I was so over it. They weren’t worth it, especially after the way they laughed at me.

“We’re like, so glad we found you actually!”

“Yeah, we’re having a totally huge sale on all our stuff. Because, you know, the whole barrier thing that happened. Yeah, so, we’re totally going up to the surface. This place stinks, we’d rather be anywhere but here.”

“So like we don’t have room for all this stuff. So, you know, buy it already.”

“I barely have enough money of my own…” I grumbled out, “I have places to be, you know.”

“Like, nowhere to be right?” Bratty and Catty giggled in unison, “Rumor is you lost your job! Haha!”

“I didn’t lose my job! I quit! That’s why I haven’t been working at the resort, alright? And that’s also why I don’t have any money to buy your garbage.”

“Garbage? It’s not garbage!”

“Uh, Catty, it like totally is.”

“Oh, you’re right! It’s good garbage, so get it right Burgerpants! Like, won’t you just take some of our stuff then? It’ll be totally free!”

“Yeah, totally free!”

“Alright, alright, if you give me your stuff I’ll dump it back into the garbage dump. Will that make you happy?” I huffed.

“Like, yeah, but totally not eco-friendly.”

“Yeah, wow Burgerpants, I thought you cared about our planet.”

“Just give me your stupid trinkets!!” They handed over all of their items and they left just as quickly as they had swarmed me. Once again I was all alone, sad and with a bag of smelly things. 

I went with the River Man to Waterfall, who dropped me off and rowed away in their strange boat. As I walked to the garbage dump I came across various echo flowers, but none of their messages were very interesting. I also glanced through their bag of junk; all of it was pretty useless stuff. It was mostly junk food, broken tools, and an oddly shaped key. 

I decided to throw away everything but the key. Someone must’ve dropped or lost it someplace; maybe they were locked out of their home. I’m not the best person in the world, but I’ve been locked out of my apartment so I know how it feels. And down here in the underground it’s pretty hard to replace a key. It takes a full mouth for them to get the mold just right, and even then it never quite seems to fit. So, I decided to keep the key with me, maybe I’d give it to the bunny, he talks to a lot of people… 

So I threw the remains of the bag into the waterfall and it sunk down deep into the abyss of the dark. I took a moment to appreciate the scenery. It was quiet down here. The only noise was that of the crashing water. I understood why a lot of monsters decided to settle here, it’s peaceful and gentle- not anything like Hotland. 

I took the long way back, taking paths through rows of echo flowers and eventually coming up onto the main area of Waterfall. I recognized Napstablook’s snail farm, but this time there weren’t any snails roaming about. 

There was a for sale sign right outside Napstablook’s front door. The twin houses still stood parallel to one another… it was strange that the homes were so close, nearly attached. I wondered briefly if Napstablook’s neighbor was upset that he was leaving. But then again, Napstablook made it seem like he didn’t have any friends.

I remembered the time Mettaton had cornered me in Napstablook’s home and basically forced me to go out to dinner with him. It felt like it happened yesterday, but it actually had been more than a week…

I went up to Napstablook’s house and peeked into the window. The room was completely empty. They probably had no problem moving their future up to the surface. They only had a few pieces after all. I went over to the door and pulled on the knob, and to my surprise it was open. I pushed open the door a little… was this wrong, peeking into their home? I mean, it was for sale so I could just say I was a potential buyer. I really just wanted to take a peek, just for the adrenaline rush.

So I peeked inside, but nothing was different. It was just a small room with absolutely nothing in it. I sighed, suddenly feeling like a douche bag for even touching the doorknob.

I began to close the door, but froze when I saw something light start to form on the floor. My eyes narrowed and I watched as Napstablook’s form started to materialize on the floor. Their round eyes looked up at me and their expression remained stoic, “… boo.”

“… Uh- AH- oh shit-“ My skin started to crawl and I was feeling even more like a douche bag. “I wasn’t going to break into your home, I swear, I was just… curious…” Yeah I’m a douche bag. 

Napstablook floated up and off the floor, “… it’s okay, sometimes I get curious too.” The ghost seemed distracted by the floor, “… did I scare you?” They rolled their eyes slowly and looked back up at me.

“Yes, actually… why were you on the floor?”

“I like to lie on the floor and feel like garbage…” Napstablook replied innocently and looked down at their little nubs, “… Feeling like garbage on the surface just isn’t the same…”

“I bet it isn’t… you’re not a snail farmer anymore, you’re the DJ for a famous monster idol.” I think I saw them blush a little.

“… I… felt a little homesick so I came back to visit and check that everything was okay.”

“Looks fine to me. So uh-“ I motioned to the wall that’s connected to the other home, “Does your neighbor know you’re leaving?”

“Mmh... no, they don’t.” They replied quietly, “I haven’t seen them in… a really long time.”

“Oh okay, so you two didn’t know each other… Must’ve been weird to have your house right next to theirs. It’s almost like my apartment, sheesh, you wouldn’t believe…” I drifted off as I noticed the ghost was even more down than usual.

“… My cousin Hapstablook lives there.” They mumbled, their voice wavering more than usual, “Used to live there, that is... but I haven’t seen them for a really long time.”

Great, I just had to talk my mouth off and now we were awkward. The ghost floated midair, staring down at the floor and mindlessly wavering back and forth. “… Sorry…” Was all I could say.

“Yeah… I’m sorry too… I shouldn’t be talking about my personal life, it’s too much of a burden…” I started to really sympathize for this ghost. I could now see how a life of loneliness had forged such a fragile creature.

I took in a big breathe of air, “You know what Napstablook? I think things are looking up for you. You’re now a DJ for your favorite and only monster idol, and you even get to go to the surface.”

“Heh, you’re right… you know me and Hapstablook started a human fan club once… we only had one meeting, but it was really fun… The only person that showed up was the royal scientist, Dr. Alphys… she was… fun. Happy really liked her, they even started to hang out… outside of the club that is. And that’s when Happy kind of… o-oh no, there I go again… I’m sorry… I’m not very good at talking…”

Damn this ghost really had it rough. I just hoped they’d be able to move on soon. “That’s fine Blooky, not everyone-“

Suddenly Napstablook put on a brave face and looked up at me, “um… I… actually have a favor to ask you… if you don’t mind…” I nodded slowly. They usually weren’t this assertive. Napstablook continued, “I would prefer… if you didn’t call me Blooky… that name is reserved only for my cousin…” They suddenly deflated, “O-Oh no, that sounded mean…”

I chuckled a little, trying to lighten up the somber ghost, “No, it’s not mean. I’m just glad you spoke your mind… I doubt you’ll be able to stop Mettaton from using that nickname though… mh, I think I like assertive Napstablook.” 

“A-And I like Burgerpants…” The ghost floated up to me curiously, “Would it be okay… if… we became… friends?”

I decided now was the time to break the news, “Actually, I think this is perfect timing. Mettaton actually asked me to be his agent, so… you’ll be seeing a lot of me. We’ll be working together.

The eyes of the ghost seemed to light up, “So… friends?”

“Of course Napstablook, friends.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyy if I make any mistakes (grammar, spelling, or just undertale lore in general) pls tell me  
I'm no expert so mistakes are bond to happen :>


	11. Dark Deals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BP and MTT meet with some humans, one of which has the ability to make or break MTT'S career on the surface. The robot is judged for his every action and questions his true value.

I broke the news to Mettaton over the phone. I told him I’d be willing to be his agent, but it certainly wouldn’t be like last time. I would be more of his partner than an underling- since I will basically be in charge of his entire schedule. Sure, I still don’t like the idea of having to spend even more time with the guy, but he promises to pay well and it’s a step up from grilling burgers all day.

He could’ve chosen anyone- or maybe someone that actually had experience- but instead he settled for me. I’m just some lousy teenager that mopes around all day, I barely have any experience in anything. What the hell does he see in me? Or maybe he just wants me around to be his little toy, someone to tease and poke at when he feels like it. I know I won’t let it be the same. If he tries anything then I’ll make sure his reputation plummets. This is strictly business- we’re not friends, Mettaton. Only colleagues. I’m only here because my life needs to go forward, and right now this is the only forward I got.

“… Burgerpants? Did you hang up on me?” Well shit, I was too busy roasting imaginary Mettaton that I forgot to respond to the real one.

“Yeah I hung up on you…” I waited for him to reply but he was silent, “I’m right fuckin’ here. Please don’t tell me you’re that shallow…” 

“Oh no, no, of course not! I appreciate your sass, Burgerpants, but I really can’t tolerate that foul mouth of yours. You can’t be saying stuff like that on TV!”

“Too bad, it’s just the way I talk- what wha- TV…? I’m not going to be on TV, am I?”

“Probably…” Mettaton sighed, “If I’m somewhere then everyone is going to be there! My darling fans just love me so much, they might even put me on the news! And if that happens you might be standing next to me and yada yada, but we all know they’re just there for me.”

“Yeah, okay… It just feels weird going from grilling burgers to… basically a superstar’s bodyguard and secretary…”

He completely disregarded my sentimental comment, “Oh!! That reminds me, I should hire bodyguards! See, BP, these are the things you’ll have to help me with.”

“Aren’t you supposed to have human bodyguards following you around constantly anyway? Besides, you’re not that popular right now anyway…”

“Silly little Burgerpants… I’m already insanely popular simply because I am a monster! And not just any monster- THE human eradication robot!”

Those both weren’t very positive things. Sure, he’ll probably be popular for a bit because monsters are so new and humans must be curious- but his little goddamn comment about being an eradication robot is going to send humans running, “You’re going to scare the humans away with that kind of talk…”

The robot heaved out another robotic sigh, “… Listen sweetie, really. You just don’t get it. Sure they might be a little frightened at that statement, but they aren’t going to run away. They’ll want to investigate it- especially since it could very well be false! I only said it once afterall- spreading a rumor or two will get my name around. And once people start watching my show, well, they’ll realize that I’m too bubbly and pink to harm anyone! And by then they’ll be hooked!” His speech was followed with obnoxious laughter.

“… Frisk would say otherwise…” I mumbled out, but found my mind wondering elsewhere. Maybe this robot was smarter than I thought. He had a plan to get humanity’s attention. Sure, his tactic is kind of fucked up and might get him in trouble in the long run- but he’s right, it will get him more attention. I speculated, “So if I’m your agent, what am I supposed to do right now? I don’t know shit about the entertainment industry, you’ve gotta help me out.” 

“Burgerpants, you’re the one that’s supposed to be helping me, but, oh well… I understand you’re young and pathetic. Just a little monster-“

“Okay, okay, stop it with the petty insults. Just let me do whatever the hell my job is, okay?”

It sounded like he took a sharp intake of breath and slowly breathed out, “Straight to business, I see? I like that… well, I managed to arrange a little date with some important people- or at least they know people that could hook me up with some important host. I would like to bring you along; I want them to know your name too.” The robot paused, “I originally planned to meet with them on the surface, since it would be convenient for them, but now I’m not so sure. What do you think?”

“Are you thinking about inviting them down here to the surface? Well… Maybe you could let the resort have one final hurray. Throw on a special night for our human guests, it’ll be a free dinner and show at the famous MTT resort.”

Mettaton seemed to like the sound of that. He rambled on a bit more about the various parties he had attended on the surface, most of them obnoxious and scandalous just like him. Maybe he was exaggerating, but the humans seemed even crazier than the killer robot. Giant parties, giant cakes, music, dancing, drugs, sex- it sounded like one of the shitty parties I attended in school. Except this party consisted of famous adults, not idiot kids with nothing better to do. When I asked him if he liked the party, all he could say was, “It doesn’t matter if I actually enjoyed it or not. What matters is that I was there and that I’m participating.” It really scared me what participating meant. 

The humans arrived just a week later in a chunky old car that was rimmed with pristine silver. The humans piled out like a bunch of circus clowns, all a different shape than the last. A pear-shaped woman, a stocky man, and another man with the most bizarre facial hair. And finally there was the human I could only assume was the ringleader. He was lean and powerful, but had a soft and gentle face, like that of a gentle giant. His voice rumbled when he spoke and seemed to have very animated features, “So this is the underground? There’s lava and steam as far as I can see, yet I’m not sweating up a storm, just a little warm. And why is that, Mettaton?”

The robot stood to the man’s side innocently; he almost looked like an accessory next to him, “Mr. Bigby, that’s because the magic from the core is able to control the levels of heat. Without the core Hotland would be boiling.”

“Ah yes, magic, still doesn’t make a damn lick of sense to me.” Mr. Bigby responded smoothly, “But what does make sense to me is a nice meal and a splendid show. You said we’d be going to your… resort?”

“Yes, the one and only MTT resort! I’d like to show you the entertainment industry of the underground and what it could offer for the surface. I guarantee our activities will send your pretty little head spinning!” Mettaton placed his hand on the man’s shoulder, making the human appear small compared to his sheer volume. Mr. Bigby rolled his shoulder, maybe he wasn’t used to such physical enthusiasm from someone that towered over him. Mr. Bigby was already a good foot taller than me, but he definitely lost that sense of superiority to Mettaton. Mettaton rolled his eye over to me, who was standing there stiffly and minding my own business, patiently waiting until I would be able to introduce myself. 

Instead the robot turned Mr. Bigby towards me, “And this is my dear Burgerpants. He’s kind of like my cute little assistant! A superstar can’t always do everything by himself, right?”

“Burgerpants? Now that is by far the strangest name I’ve ever heard, even for a monster… that better not be your real name.” He reached over and grabbed my paw, firmly but not enough to actually hurt. I appreciated the jester and tried my best to match the strength of the shake.

“No, not at all. But that’s what they call me around here- but BP is just fine.” Mettaton’s hands remained on the human’s shoulders; I could practically feel his soul fluttering with excitement. I playfully said, “Ey, why don’t you get those mits off the guy, Metta?”

Mettaton’s face twisted but his arms slinked away from the human. He crossed those noodle arms of his over his chest plate and cocked his hip out and gave me a particularly soul scowl. The last time I saw that face was when I spilled the new shipment of pink dye all over the carpet (the carpet was already pink as hell but STILL). That scowl was replaced with confusion when Mr. Bigby bellowed out a deep laugh, “It seems you don’t have your own assistant under control, Metta.” He said disdainfully, “But he’s right. Your touchy tendencies are cute on camera, but they don’t work in the business world. As for your ‘mits’…” He glanced at Mettaton’s large hands, which clutched up into fists. The human continued, “They remind me of my childhood- their design, that is. Like from a cartoon because of how bulky and round they are. No human fingers are that chunky, you need to get those redone. They’re very unpleasant to look at on camera.” He continued his relentless speech, “We humans appreciate the beautiful and elegant things- and those hands are just one thing we’ll have to change. Those arms are a bit disturbing, but it adds to your robot persona so they can stay. Your face will need redone as well.” I suddenly regretted trying to crack a joke at Mettaton. This man clearly had his priorities, and didn’t care if he was going to break the robot’s soul while doing so. He practically just told Mettaton he wasn’t good enough for humanity because of his appearance. 

Mettaton waited for the human to pause before blurting out, “Do you have any idea how long those upgrades would take? Dr. Alphys is a very busy woman; she’d never have the time to completely redo my body!”

“Dr. Alphys doesn’t need to upgrade you. We have plenty of talented scientists that can do it.”

“I’m sorry, but you just don’t understand. I refuse to have anyone but Alphys work on my body. Monsters are very different from humans, do you have any idea what might happen-“ Mettaton was cut off by the gentle raise of Mr. Bigby’s hand.

“Do you want to be a star on the surface, Mettaton?” That shut the robot up for the rest of the night. It was only the beginning of the date and we were already exposed to the corruption of the show world. I really felt for Mettaton- that was a bitch move on Bigby’s part. There were numerous times I actually wanted to speak up for the robot, but Bigby’s calm and terrifying demeanor made me feel like he had all the power and authority in the world. Nothing I could say would change his opinion on anything. 

So for the rest of the night I sat at the table with the rest of the human folks, lightly making conservation. Mettaton was more quiet than usual, only answering to questions and distracted by his own thoughts. The humans were interested in all of the fascinating monsters, but somewhat disappointed by the content of performances. They all said they wanted something more “original”, something they didn’t have on the surface. 

“Can’t we see something specific to monsters?” The stocky man had asked, “Surely you’ve developed some unique culture since you’ve been down here… We humans enjoy the thrill, something dangerous…”

Mettaton cracked a charming smile, “It sounds like you want to see some monster magic. I was hoping you’d ask, but then again it’s very dangerous…”

“Nonsense- Mettaton,” Mr. Bigby, “I’m disappointed that you’re holding back. This is no show. You’ve failed as a performer if your audience isn’t pleased, you should know that.” He challenged then continued, “We know about the show you put on during Dr. Alphy’s conference… a lot of my close friends were in that audience, many of which aren’t swayed easily by the entertainment industry, but they were all very impressed with your abilities.”

This human was making me sick. First he challenged the dumb robot then prettied him up with praise, in hopes of swaying Mettaton to his demand. And what could I do? I just sat and hoped he was making rational decisions. 

“Well,” Mettaton seemed bashful, “I’m glad they liked it so much- but it was really just a demonstration for Dr. Alphys. I wasn’t the only monster that preformed…” It was strange to hear Mettaton being so… modest? 

Bigby cleared his throat and leaned over the table, taking a great pause as the other humans settled down to listen. “We are well aware monsters are capable of using magic… but a little birdie told me a thing or two about soul magic.”

Soul magic, now that was something even I didn’t know much about. Not all monsters can use it, I certainty can’t. Apparently it could manipulate another monster’s soul, permanently or momentarily putting them into some kind of condition. I vaguely remember Mettaton’s fight with Frisk, and I’m sure at one point he used soul magic on them. It was some kind of reversal magic.

“Yes, soul magic…” The robotic monster rolled his eye away from Bigby, obviously uncomfortable with the subject. “I have no idea how I could use it to entertain my guests, Mr. Bigby, it’s not a very pleasant type of magic. I’d prefer to just do what I’m comfortable with. I’ve been entertaining the underground for years, surely the surface will find me to be pleasing as well.”

Bigby glanced over at his companions, “Maybe you’re right, Mettaton… but according to your statistics, you barley reach over a hundred views on your programs. Your best show was when you fought that human child.”

Mettaton snapped his head back towards Bigby, “How did you get that information!?” I swear I could feel heat coming off the robot’s body, “And how does any that have to do with my success on the surface?” 

Bigby seemed as coy as ever, “It’s not like you lock your office, or leave a password on your computer… I actually heard about this information from some of your beautiful fans. I checked your program records and found no evidence of your EX form.”

My fur began to crawl and feel prickly. There was something dark underlying in Bigby’s words. Mettaton is obviously trying to hide his fight with Frisk, since the humans would find us to be even more horrific if they knew some of us attacked the child. 

Mettaton carefully asked, “So what about it? I deleted it because it made me look bad.”

“As any careful man- or monster- would do. But I don’t care about the actual moral content in it, but I can’t say how human viewers might feel about it. All that matters is that whatever you did- everyone loved it. Maybe beating the living hell out of children on TV isn’t such a bad idea after all…”

“… It was only because so many monsters support and love Frisk. They wanted to watch the fight for them, not for me.” Those words fell out his mouth like pools of tears. It was strange, hearing the underground’s star so somber. There was no passion in his metal body, only a broiling sadness of defeat.

“Then that’s what I’d like for our content to focus on.” He bellowed out a laugh, “I know I’m giving you a hard time Mettaton, but I really do want to see you shine up there on the surface. But let’s be honest- you’re a big, bad monster. That’s what humans see you as, and that’s what they WANT to see you as. You need to play the whole ‘Killer Robot’ persona, that’ll get the views you really want.”

What could Mettaton say to that? The robot nodded, “Yes that would be for the best.”

“I’m glad you agree. Cooking shows and quiz shows are of the past. Nowadays people want violence and action, which is why I was considering setting you up with a show of your own. It would be similar to boxing matches- but maybe with monsters and magic instead… What do you think, Burgerpants?”

The powerful human suddenly turned his attention to me, “Uhh-“ I stammered out, completely not prepared, “Well, I’m sure my boss would be cool with it. Sounds like a good idea, I mean, soon enough humans would start cheering for certain monsters, kind of like celebrities… but how would Mettaton be implemented?” 

“As the host obviously and maybe he’d even be what you’d consider a ‘final boss’ for the contestant. Depends on the skill of the monsters that would be competing.” Bigby glanced back at the other humans, all that had been writing down in their notebooks, “I’m so glad we got that all settled, we’ve made a lot of progress today.”

The humans stood up, as did us monsters. The human clapped Mettaton’s large hand with a firm shake, “Thank you for this opportunity, Mr… mh, do monsters even have last names?”

“Yes… but Mettaton is just fine…”

“Alright then- Mr. Mettaton, I’ll speak with some people and see if we can really get that show on the road. Please keep in touch, I’m sure you’ll be a star on the surface in no time.” 

We escorted the humans back to their car, watching them leave and head towards the exit of Mt. Ebbot. After a second or two I turned to the robot, “Um, Mettaton... you good?”

“Of course, Burgerpants, I’ve never been better.” His long arms were dropped to his side and he slouched his back a bit, “Just a little tired, you know?”

“Oh, are you out of batteries?” My mouth twisted, “Or is there more to it? … I would’ve expected you to throw a whole chair at that asshole’s face- I would’ve.” I huffed, knowing Mettaton would appreciate the shared disgust. 

“He’s not an asshole,” He stated, suddenly jutting his hip out with some confidence, “Just a little human that thinks he can push around a big ol’ monster like me.” He slinked his arm around my shoulders, pulling me against his metal frame. He suddenly chuckled and I could feel the thick vibrations against the metal, “And you just had to go talking about my hands, didn’t you? I love my hands! And now I’m going to have to get them remodeled!” 

“Well, you don’t have to get your yaoi hands replaced…”

“Tch- I love my yaoi hands!” He snickered and pulled me in close, nearly strangling my thin neck, “Yes, yes, I know all about your teenager slang. Now I know you’re a dirty anime-lover too!”

“I-I don’t watch anime!!” I wriggled out of his grasp, and with a deep purr replied, “I just know my way around the internet, that’s all!”

I watched in horror as the robot’s face lit up and his eye was filled with hearts, “OH DARLING!! Did you just purr!?” He trapped me in arms once again, a smile plastered across his face, “Burgerpants, I’m so glad you’re working for me again~ Haha, but it’ll be different this time, I promise. We’re finally on our way to achieve our dreams- even if we’re not where we want to be quite yet.”  



	12. Moving Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mettaton decided he was going to help Burgerpants pack his furniture for the big move. BP learns more than he should've about Mettaton and finally connects the dots.

It was really happening. Today was the day I moved to the surface. Bigby told us it would be safe to assume that the show would be accepted, but it still wasn’t a done deal. It was a big risk having a monster-run TV series. Bigby kept nagging Mettaton about those upgrades, but the robot was able to pacify him by insisting it would be better to upgrade him much later in the series- if it was a success- to bring a whole new level of fear to the audience. I’m pretty sure he already did that with his EX form, but he made it seem like he already had ANOTHER form to show off. How many bodies does this damn robot have?

Anyway I had to move my stuff today, we were loading it into Mettaton’s limo and taking it up to the city. Most monsters still had to live in the secluded town outside the city, but Bigby gave us a pass for now. Bigby seemed to be in charge of a lot of things, more than I can even understand. It seemed like he dictated all monsters and our rights on the surface, and he had a council to back him up. 

Unfortunately Mettaton wasn’t busy today. So he had all the time in the world to help me pack my stuff. “Eeeeewwww- Burgerpants, I have no idea you shed so much!” He had forced his way into my apartment, disgusted by every hair he found.

“Yeah, I do that.” I huffed, grabbing my blanket away from Mettaton before he could investigate it further, “Usually I don’t shed this much, but since I’ve been going to Waterfall and the surface…” I drifted off, watching the robot ignore me and disappear into my living room. 

I folded up my blanket before following Mettaton out of my bedroom. “Mmmh…” The robot questionably looked at my sparse furniture, “You live a sad life, Burgerpants. Couldn’t you have at least painted the walls something fun?”

“Nope.”

“Mh… well, do you need anything in here? Your couch, TV, desk maybe?” I didn’t want to take anything big since it would just be a hassle, but Mettaton insisted, “I’m very strong, and very willing to transport any matter of things! We can make room for your stuff in the apartment anyways.”

My eyebrows furrowed, “Oh, am I not getting my own apartment? I mean that’s fine, I’m cool with sharing with…” My words drifted off again as I saw a pleased smile appear on his face. Oh no. Oh hell no.

“You’re moving in with. This. Piece. Of. Sweet. Robot. Ass.” He exploded into playful laughter, amused by my aghast expression. “Darling, don’t resist! It’s a wonderful apartment with plenty of room for the both of us. Of course I would’ve preferred to have my own place but Mr. Bigby gave us limited rooms.”

“But… why me…? Why do you do this to me?”

“Because!” He stated simply, “I originally considered sharing with Blooky- but you know how timid they are. They always go transparent when I’m around, they just get embarrassed so easily. And Blooky is already friends with Shyren, it seemed cruel to split them up. So that just left us together~” I accepted my defeat. At least it was a big apartment. I’d be able to lock myself away from him. 

We started to take some of the bigger items out of the apartment, like my desk and pathetically small TV. Mettaton was obviously doing all the heavy lifting, having no problem while I wheezed and huffed. At one point Mettaton came back up and asked, “Okay, anything else?”

“Yeah, I think my nightstand but that’s about it.” I panted but reached over and heaved the thing up, my fingers barely holding onto it. It jutted around in my weak arms, and suddenly the small cabinet inside jumped out and smacked down right onto the floor. The strange key had been in it, apparently where I had thrown it all those nights ago. The key bounced out onto the floor. With a big sigh I gently put it back down, “Yeah you’re going to have to carry this, I’m exhausted already.”

The robot carefully leaned down and held the tiny piece of metal in between his fingers, “Burgerpants… where in the world did you get this?” He looked at me with a definitive scowl, that of suspicion and hurt. 

“Uh, I got it from Bratty and Catty… you know, the girls out back in the alley. They find all their stuff in the trash, it’s probably just some key… I kept it cause… I dunno, it seemed like an asshole-ish thing to do if I just threw it away. I thought maybe someone needed it.”

“… You’re right. It’s very wasteful to just throw out a key.” His somber attitude made me question if he had any relations with said key. Damn, Mettaton was getting more complicated and mysterious by the minute. The robot pocketed the key, but I decided not to press any further. It was his problem now. 

“… Can we take a break?” I asked meekly. My limbs were weak like jelly, I could barley even raise my arm. I was really out of shape, back in my days at school I used to be on the track team- but then I discovered the wonders of drama club. Only then was I consumed and obsessed with reciting old poetry and cheap screenplays.

“Of course darling. You’re not on work duty after all!” The robot pleasantly watched as I plopped down onto the couch, one of the remaining pieces of furniture I had left. He dallied next to my fridge before asking, “Do you want something to drink? Milk maybe?”

“Pft- no, gimmie orange juice. Orange juice solves all of my problems.” He questionably looked at me while I lounged, but then turned to my fridge. He made faces upon opening it, definitely not pleased with what he found inside. I ate a strange array of leftovers, usually from take outs or something I could just throw in the oven, so I wasn’t surprised that the wealthy robot was disgusted by his discovery. He’s going to love rooming with me. 

He just sighed and elegantly poured a glass of orange juice before handing it to me, “I thought cats ate fish…? Last time I checked they don’t eat leftover ramen noodles.”

“And I thought robots didn’t judge monsters, but look where we are…” I narrowed my eyes at the robot as I sipped my drink, “Or are you a robot?” I had said in a crisp and suspicious tone, but I really just meant to tease him. 

He looked at me with distaste, “Are you suspicious of my identity?”

“All I know is that you had memories before being built by Alphys… very suspicious.”

“Ugh, why must you be so sharp and curious? Can’t you just forget things? I see no point in you nagging me about my past life…” The robot sighed dramatically, “How about this: as soon as you tell me about your life, I’ll tell you about mine. Deal?”

My ears laid down, “Okay, cool, I’ve got no secrets to hide. Let’s go right now, bonding time.” Although I don’t want to bond with this bizarre monster, I was just really curious.

“Curiosity killed the cat.” He stated simply, “You don’t want to know about me, trust me. I had a very boring and pathetic life before becoming a star, it’s barely noteworthy.” 

I wasn’t really satisfied with that answer, “Whatever… but it couldn’t have been as bad as mine. I mean- I didn’t have a bad childhood, it just seemed like nothing ever happened. I never got good grades, but never got terrible grades either. I was always just barely making it, but I guess that was good enough. But then I got into drama, and wow were those the best moments of my life. See, I grew up in the city, but obviously your show business was stationed out here in Hotland… so when I applied for the job and actually got it- I guess I… kinda just ran off. I had to leave loved ones behind, but I guess they supported me. My sister did at least… err, does…” I trailed off, suddenly feeling stupid for spilling my life out like that.

By now Mettaton was smiling at me sweetly, “I didn’t know you had a sister. So are you the oldest?” He seated his massive figure beside me.

“Uh- no, actually I’m the youngest. My sister lives somewhere the city, she already has kids of her own. I’ve never met my nephews before- in person at least- I’ve just talked to them over the phone.”

Mettaton squealed, “So cute! Well, you can invite your adorable little nephews up to our room at any time! I absolutely adore children!” Something told me that’s exactly what I wasn’t going to do. 

“You’d be a terrible parent. Good thing you can’t have kids… or can you?” 

He sighed dramatically, “Burgerpants! I’m sure you know how monster reproduction happens. As long as I have a monster soul, I could probably reproduce. But as much as I adore children- I’m married to my work. Besides, if I dated someone, my fans might get jealous!” I’m glad he wasn’t interested in raising mini demons of himself. Mettaton turned to me again, “Well, I’m glad you have family that loves you… but you should visit them more, don’t you miss them?”

“Of course I do!” I huffed, “My sister at least… But my mom and old man aren’t really part of that picture. They’re not bad, but, ya’ know… I didn’t really end on good terms with them. It would just be awkward if I talked to them again.”

“That might be true- but it’s better to say something now rather than later! I’m sure they’ll forgive you no matter what. You are their darling little son after all! Who could say no to that face?” He reached over to pinch my cheeks and I instantly smacked his hand away. He seemed surprised by my ‘cat-like’ reflexes. 

“Don’t you have anyone waiting at home for you?” I huffed out, hoping to get a different answer from him.

I was only met with another long, robotic sigh, “My home is the stage, only my beloved audience are the ones waiting for my entrance.”

“Then what type of monster were you before you were a robot?”

“Burgerpants…”

“Mettaton…” I purred back with the same sassiness. 

“Do you want to lose your job? You’re really testing me,” He said but it came out as a small chuckle, “Just let it go. Why are you so curious about me anyway? I’m flattered, truly- but now you’re just being suspicious!” 

Yeah, why was I so curious? I guess I just really liked seeing Mettaton so embarrassed and on edge. Maybe it was a sort of spiteful revenge, but I knew I was gonna get the answers out of him. Even though Mettaton loves talking about himself, he never really TALKS about himself- do you get what I mean? It was a big façade with this guy, but he held it down with a complicated sadness that was way too obvious, even for me. And for some reason the curiosity inside me really wanted to know more about him- to bond with him. I really don’t like admitting it… but maybe he’s cooler than I thought. Now that I can tease him and I won’t get fired for it- and despite how annoying he can be- sometimes he makes me smile. And he gave me this job, a job I would never have been able to get without his help. And for that I am very grateful. 

“Come on Mettaton, I already told you a bunch about me.” Mettaton didn’t seem convinced so I said, “I was a fan of yours ever since I was a little kitten,” that was a lie, I don’t even think Mettaton had his show on yet, “Can’t I get to know my idol just a little bit?”

A cheeky smile spread across Mettaton’s silicon lips, “Oh stop, I know you’re just trying to butter me up… well, my nickname used to be Happy...”

“Happy…? Okay,” I chuckled, “I see why you left now.”

Mettaton sighed again, but this time it was out of amusement, “I know, I know… But I really loved that cute little nickname. But that’s in the past now.”

“So would you be angry if I called you Happy?” I snickered.

Mettaton turned to me and with a general seriousness said, “I would be very upset. As your boss, I am ordering you not to ever call me that nickname at any time. I don’t even want you to spread this information to any monster or human.” 

My ears laid back down, “Sheesh, I was just kidding. Hehe, you just opened a whole new can of worms I didn’t even know about.” 

Mettaton gave out a frustrated sigh, “Who knew you could be so annoying- Burgerpants, if the humans found out I wasn’t always a robot they would be devastated. They would question WHY I was built and then find out about… well… They can’t know I was built to harm humans… but Mr. Bigby obviously already knows too much.”

“I mean, it was your fault for gloating about being a human eradication robot. He wouldn’t have looked into it otherwise.”

“Yes, you’re right… but, Burgerpants, no one needs to know about my other life. It’s over with, it’s dead. Please, for the sake of my own humiliation- keep it a secret between us.” 

“You barely told me anything about your life, and you’re already making deals with me. What are you so scared of?”

“Well, kind of like you I… left someone behind that I love very dearly. I’m just humiliated that I might have to face them again. They probably hate every fiber of my being. I left them all alone, without even telling them, like a pathetic coward.” The robot suddenly pulled a piece of his hair, “Ugh! I’m sorry Burgerpants, you really shouldn’t hear all my pathetic crying and moping. I’m a big, adult robot now- I shouldn’t dwell on those things anymore.”

“Sounds to me like you want to make up. Sounds like you loved them a lot…” I huffed. I know Mettaton’s life was probably on a whole different level than mine, but I understood why he didn’t want to face that monster again. “But- I still think they would be able to forgive you, eventually at least. You should talk to them, at least it will bring you some peace.”

“It’s… not that simple Burgerpants.” The robot mumbled with a deep and somber string of words. It was depressing seeing the underground’s idol like this. 

“You’re right, it probably isn’t. To you at least. But when it comes right down to it, that’s the right thing to do…” I gave out a big sigh, hoping to move on from the deep conservation. I’d rather be moving heavy boxes right about now… 

Happy, huh? Really fits him, kinda cute actually… actually sounds familiar. Why do I recall someone named Happy? Or, it wasn’t Happy but… Hap… Hapsta… Hapstablook. Yeah, Hapstablook was the name of Napstablook’s lost cousin. I’m pretty sure he nicknamed him Happy though. A dark realization settled within me. Could Happy and Hapstablook be the same monster? Shit, I really hope not. My stomach started to feel like it was twisting and turning, I really wish I hadn’t asked so much about Mettaton’s personal life. I then remembered back to the key, and how oddly he had behaved when he saw it. Was the key his? Maybe he was the one that threw it away in the first place. Catty and Bratty did find it in Waterfall after all, that’s where Hapstablook would’ve lived. “It’s not that simple” he had said. Yeah, he was totally right. This was making my head spin. I suddenly felt filthy for being so insistent on learning Mettaton’s past. If this was true, I had no right to interfere with their family issues. I’m just some lowly cat monster looking to make a life for myself, I don’t need to mettle in Mettaton’s personal business. 

But then I remembered back to Napstablook’s little house, and their sad furnishings. They were always alone, only their beloved snails to keep them company. How could Hapstablook leave such a lonely creature? Maybe if Hapstablook had a dream- had a dream of becoming something bigger than they already were. Maybe with a passion as big as Mettaton’s, that ghost overlooked his love for their cousin and decided they needed to leave everything behind.

What perplexes me though is this: ghosts are typically shy and fragile monsters. They usually live alone or with their families, and never speak to other monsters because of their shyness. They are sensitive but loving to those they truly adore, but also have large amounts of self doubt and anxiety. Ghosts really are complex, but they definitely never strive for big dreams like… becoming a superstar. 

So I decided to drop it. It wasn’t likely Mettaton and Hapstablook were the same monster, it just didn’t make sense. Mettaton is passionate and arrogant, he’s strong-willed unlike that of a ghost. They can’t be the same monster.


	13. Overkill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first episode of Mettaton's show is finally released. But until it's aired on TV our crew celebrates with a little get together. But celebration doesn't last long when Mettaton screws up on live television, putting his reputation in danger.

One month. It’s only been one month since I moved in with Mettaton, and surprisingly we haven’t clawed each other’s throats out yet. He keeps his portion of the apartment very clean, but occasionally will forget a spare arm in the living room. I learned a lot about Mettaton during our time together, most of it things I wish I could forget. For one, I learned he checks on me while I’m sleeping because, according to him, I “talk in my sleep a lot” which is probably bullshit and he just wants to look at me sleep. Anyway, Mettaton never sleeps. He just plugs himself in and wanders around and bangs around in the kitchen. Luckily I sleep like a rock, so I’m not really bothered.

As for my portion of the house, it’s a pigsty. I don’t know if Mettaton has a sense of smell, but so far he hasn’t commented on it. I mean it’s really just my bedroom that’s messy, but I’m also in charge of the bathroom and it could be nicer. Mettaton only uses the bathroom for the mirror and his massive collection of makeup, so I have to at least make it decent enough for him.

As for work, I’ve been pretty busy. They officially announced that Mettaton would be hosting his own TV series, and ever since I’ve been working my ass off. All of a sudden Mettaton was constantly getting invites to talk shows and everyone wanted to get an interview with him. He hadn’t even filmed the first episode yet, but he was a hot topic. We went to a couple of meetings with investors, but neither of us really knew what a good deal was, so I basically just said sure to whatever. I just hope it won’t come crashing down on us later. I even contacted some other agents, simply to ask for advice, but I probably won’t get any replies. 

So anyway the first episode was finished and ready to be aired on television. Mettaton decided to have a mini party at our apartment so we could all watch it together, but really he just invited Napstablook, Shyren, and Alphys. They all showed up- but an extra one too. I had never met this monster before in my life. She was tall and lean, but obviously ten times stronger than I’ll ever been. Her long red hair fell back into a thick ponytail, but what stuck out the most to me were her fish-like fins on the side of her head and the wicked eye patch. She was really cool- and funky- looking, like some kind of fish pirate. Her name was Undyne, and she was a close friend of Alphys. But according to Mettaton she was “pretty much Alphys’s girlfriend.” 

“Alright, let’s get crackin’! We’re gonna need some snacks and drinks fast, whatcha got metal man?” Upon arriving Undyne was already raiding our fridge, but I just smiled as her face drop with bitter disappointment. “Tuna? All you have is TUNA! GROSS!” Yes, all I have is tuna. Ever goddamn day I have the finest tuna and I fucking love it. There’s a fresh fish market just a few blocks down from our apartment, and boy is it a lot cheaper than in the underground.

“I know, it is pretty gross,” Mettaton mumbled out, “But BP enjoys it, so I don’t mind.”

“Ugh, sorry kitty, but that makes me sick. Ya know, that’s like… do you think I would taste like tuna too? Cause’ I’m a fish?” Undyne’s eyebrows furrowed and suddenly she was very concerned, “Alphys…”

Alphys was plopped down on the couch, a soft blanket over her lap as she typed away at her tiny phone. “O-Oh,” She looked up when she heard Undyne whine, “W-Well, I guess so. But you’re specifically a monster fish, so I-I’m sure it’s very different. Don’t worry, I-I’m sure Burgerpants wouldn’t find you tasty.”

Undyne narrowed her eyes suspiciously, “… What do you mean I wouldn’t taste good!? Are you saying I’m not sashimi grade or somethin’!?” Alphys started to stutter again, barely audible as her face turned red with shame. Undyne just bellowed out a hearty laugh and sat down next to the shivering lizard. “Heh, don’t worry about it Alphie.” They finally looked up and noticed Mettaton wiggling his eyebrows at them. Undyne recoiled, “Alright, that’s enough outta you! I’ve barley been here five minutes and I already feel attacked.”

While they bickered I sat watching, highly amused while my tail flicked. Our much quieter quests, Napstablook and Shyren, were seated at our little dining table, playing a game of cards while we waited for the episode to start. I wondered over to their table and sat down, “Okay, can you deal me in Napstablook? What are we playing?”

“Oh…” Napstablook squinted their oval eyes, thinking very hard apparently, “… Go fishing… wait, that’s not right…”

“Go fish.” Shyren peeped out, her face just barley seen over the table. We played a few and very slow rounds. None of us really knew what the rules were, so we just matched the cards together that were the same color. We eventually decided that was definitely not the right way to play it. As Napstablook and Shyren quietly chatted, I put my time into carefully stacking cards, trying to make a castle. I was hunched over the table, concentrating as I held my breath and carefully placed the card atop the others. I heard a slinking sound beside me and I turned to see Mettaton’s robot hand on the table, using two fingers to “walk” over to little castle of cards. Even his hands walked sassy, what the hell- “Mettaton, you better fucking not-“ a lazar suddenly exploded from his fingertip, zapping my castle and completely obliterating the cards to dust. 

My fur bristled and I just turned to look at Mettaton, who was laid out on the couch like some stupid fashion model and had a smug look on his face. “Overkill, Mettaton, so overkill.” Was all I could say. Mettaton exploded into a terrifying laugh, the type of laugh I think Dracula would have. 

“Burgerpants, darling, you’re just too precious… Oh, those were your cards, weren’t they Blooky? I’m sorry sweetie, I’ll buy you another set.” Napstablook seemed very pleased with that answer. “Anyway, I wouldn’t have done that if you didn’t curse-“

“H-Hush- M-Mettaton, it’s starting!” Alphys made us gather around when the show started. We all crammed ourselves into the living room, staring giddily at the TV screen. I actually hadn’t seen a lot of the content of the show, Mettaton only told me about the basic structure and idea behind it. While they were shooting the scenes I was busy on the phone, probably talking up some investor. 

The screen was black, but Mettaton’s voice rumbled out of the dark with a horrifying chuckle, “Monsters… creatures of the dark, only told in folk tales from the past. They steal children, destroy homes, cast evil spells, and murder hasty children that decided to venture a little too far from home. We prey on the weak, using our savage ways to manipulate the human mind to please ourselves. We’re horrid creatures, but…” There was another laugh, but this time much more comical. Mettaton finally appeared on screen, darkly lighted but the shine of his eyes and lips peeked through. He wore lavish clothing, dolled up with makeup too. He protruded his elegant leg out, revealing the scandalous heels he wore and purred out darkly, “-but who knew monsters could look this good?”

Undyne and Alphys hooted and cheered as the episode finally started to get going. I gotta admit, that intro was pretty spooky and… oddly charming. It sounded like a perfume commercial more than anything else. The episode went exactly as I expected: dark humor and a lot of glamour. Mettaton introduced the contestants, and his human co-host which was supposed to have a nervous persona, making Mettaton seem even more intimidating. I don’t know if this will improve Mettaton’s reputation in the human society, but it certainly was entertaining. It was a lot more of Mettaton talking rather than performing, since most of the action came from the contestants. 

Nearing the end of the episode, Mettaton’s phone erupted into a string of chirps and whistles as he received a call. He apologized and went into the hall to answer it while the rest of us continued to watch. The credits were interrupted by a delighted shriek, and Mettaton came streaking back in, his soul emitting a powerful warmth that even I could feel. His voice wavered and cracked with excitement, but eventually was able to peep out, “Mr. Bigby just called… he told me t-that this was by far the most successful show he’s ever produced! O-Or- I’ve ever produced! From just this episode alone we’ve estimated to have made millions! It’s an extravagant success, one of the most successful ones in human history!” We exploded into a mixture of celebration and crying. Mettaton swooped Napstablook up into his arms, squeezing the soft thing until they went transparent with embarrassment. Mettaton cried into the ghost’s form, mumbling something along the lines of, “I really did it Blooky, oh my god I actually did it…” Meanwhile Shyren cooed and sang softly and Undyne had somehow found a champagne bottle. She suddenly popped the top of and held it up high, letting its substance ooze over and down her arm as she whistled and cheered. All Alphys could do was laugh nervously with a sweet smile, but her heart was thumping with excitement and admiration. I was proud to be part of this, even if Mettaton was really the one to make it happen. I felt my soul swell with love and compassion, a connection with these monsters was starting to form. A connection I never knew I wanted. 

After the tears dried and the laughter died out, we decided it was high time to take our party elsewhere. We left our complex with obnoxious cheers, bringing along some other monsters that lived near us. We raided the nearest human bar, but were delighted to find that many of the humans had watched the episode on the TV. Mettaton was met with questions from ecstatic fans, and very quickly the bar swelled with humans that wanted a glimpse of the newly famous monster. In just one night Mettaton had become the talk of the world. Every television show and every newspaper was describing the eruption of the monster sensation, Mettaton’s name plastered everywhere. We were still out at the bars when I received hundreds of texts and calls from various agencies and talk-shows. They all wanted a piece of him, but they all had to go through me first. Mettaton told me to shut off my phone for the night and to enjoy myself because I “did such a nice job”. Those were strange words coming from my usually strict boss. But I did shut off my phone, and I let myself let loose for that night. I laughed and smiled with the deranged robot and clinked my glass with humans I didn’t even know. It was one of the best nights of my life.

I spent the next morning with a splitting headache and was busy with my work that I abandoned last night. Mettaton was out for the day, attending to the public to appease their needy requests. Meanwhile I was scheduling the rest of his week, trying to give him some breaks but finding that there was never enough time for all of the talk-shows. I settled on some of the hottest, hoping I was making the right choices. I worked the whole day in my pajamas, occasionally combing back my fur and wearing a nice dress shirt when I had to do video chats. I felt awkward at first, but now I was warming up to the idea of being Mettaton’s assistant. I see how he could never do this all by himself, nor would he be very good at it. He needed someone calm and sharp to make these decisions for him. 

Before I knew it a week had passed, but the workload was still the same. Mettaton attended many talk shows, answering various questions in his usual flowery way. At one point I also attended one of the live interviews, I expected it to be completely uneventful. Mettaton and a well dressed human were seated on a little stage, which was light with gentle orange light overhead. It was a bit cozier and less formal than the other talk shows, I’m pretty sure they specialized in comedy too. The host was witty and quick with his words, shooting out questions and Mettaton calmly responding back. Mettaton’s voice was soft and gentle, not like his usually ecstatic self. 

It was already late into the night, but I was there to take Mettaton home. I didn’t know anything was going to happen… I didn’t know he was low on battery. 

“So do monsters celebrate Halloween? Yeah, how does that work huh?” The host spat out suddenly, leaning over his table dramatically.

Mettaton gently smiled, “Yes I heard about Halloween. I think it’s adorable that you humans dress up as… well… monsters.”

“Yes, yes, I’m sure. I guess you monsters should dress up as humans then! Trust me, there are a bunch of terrifying humans up here. Serial killers, clowns, criminals, presidents- there are plenty of options for little baby monsters.” There were some ecstatic and obviously fake laughter from the “audience”. I was standing back behind the camera, listening in to the show while curiously watching the camera crew rush around.

Mettaton’s expression didn’t change, he just blinked and kept that sweet little smile. When he didn’t respond with a comment the host continued, “Well do you monsters have any freaky holidays we should know about?”

Mettaton didn’t respond again. My skin started to feel prickly- what was he doing? That smile and stare was creepy enough, if he was trying to be comical it wasn’t working. My thoughts ran quickly, but were put to a hard break when Mettaton’s expression fell and I felt his soul flutter to a stop. He fell forward out of the chair in a loud crash, but his metal body wasn’t completely limp, just stiff. The goddamn prick had run out of batteries. Shit, shit, shit! Of course it had to be NOW during a live interview!

The host jumped back, apparently startled, and his charming grin was wiped away as he shouted for the crew to shut off the cameras. “You fucking idiot…” I growled under my breath, feeling my face warm with embarrassment as the entire human crew looked at me questionably, expecting me to know what to do.

After I heaved his body into the back, away from the prying eyes of the humans, I called Alphys. As the phone rang I heard the host grumble and shout to the crew, apparently upset that the “damned thing” had to spoil the show for tonight.

Alphys didn’t pick up the phone. I just left a simple voicemail, telling her Mettaton was out of batteries and I would have trouble taking him back to the apartment. I couldn’t just drag him down the street- that would take too long and we’d risk being seen. Mettaton’s reputation was the most important right now. I called Napstablook next, telling them I needed help getting Mettaton into the apartment. I’m not even sure how much they could help, with their incorporal little nubs and all.

I decided I’d have to take a risk and just pulled the car up as close to the door as I could. If I dragged him out of the backdoor we should be fine. I’ll lay him down into the back then drive him home- no problem. So I pulled up the car then returned inside to retrieve his body. 

His slouched body was leaned against the wall as I had left him- but now he was swarmed by what I recognized to be the camera crew. They didn’t have any of their equipment, but instead were taking pictures and videos with their phones. My tail quickly stiffened and with the shrillest voice I could muster shouted, “The fuck you think you’re doing!?”

They jumped back, nervous laughter and disappointment among them. I pushed past a few of them, letting my temper get the better of me a little bit. It was just plain creepy- for them to take pictures of an unconscious monster like that. “Sorry sir, we were just worried is all…” One of them muttered out.

“Yeah, real fucking worried- worried enough to take pictures. What do you think you’re going to do with those pictures, hm?” I inquired bitterly. 

“We’ll delete them.” “Yeah we’ll delete them.” I realized their quiet voices and stifled laughter wasn’t out of nervousness but of amusement. They weren’t intimidated by my reprimand; they weren’t scared of the angry kitty at all. 

“I should take pictures of you while you’re asleep and see how you like it! I better not see any of those goddamn photos anywhere-“ And then I realized they weren’t listening to me. They were probably recording me right now without me knowing. I was disgusted by the disrespect these humans had. One of them held their camera up to my face and suddenly a bright flash blinded my eyes momentarily. My ears laid back and my skin boiled. My claws flung from their sheaths and in a swift movement I slapped the device out from his hand. The damned thing slapped down onto the ground and broke into fragments. That seemed to get their attention. “Don’t you have any respect? Leave before you make me even more pissed.” The humans finally scattered.  



End file.
